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Hi Chris,
Why do the men I date seem to be such a problem? I'd like to get married, but all my boyfriends mistreat me or just won't commit. What's going wrong? Am I not dating the right men? Or not doing things right?
No Good Men
Hi No Good Men!
Well, to start with, you have to have the right attitude! Demand fidelity and commitment from the get go, and don't waste time in dead-end relationships. The moment you begin to wonder if a relationship's worth the effort, break it off.
You should also be aware of how single men approach commitment. Because there's a 'window of opportunity' when they're most likely to commit. It usually starts a couple of years after they've begun to feel established in their career, before which they're just having fun. If they're still single more than a few years later then they're gradually becoming confirmed bachelors and won't ever settle down.
You should also know about the different ways men think about women. Some want to marry and to be faithful family men. But there are others who don't actually like women all that much, and see them as trophies to be used and discarded. Any sign you're with one of those, move on quickly.
That's not to say that all men can be categorised that easily. Some are just slow to get going, maybe because they lack social skills, or were perpetual students. Others have been hurt by previous relationships. And so investing your time in one of them might be worthwhile.
But don't date a man who's still living with his parents. He's much less likely to commit. And check out whether your new guy's friends are married. That increases the chances he'll take you seriously.
Get the idea? Just because you want to get married doesn't mean that the guys you date feel the same way. So you have to quickly decide whether that new guy you've just met fit's into one of the high risk categories. If he does, don't waste your time on him!
All the best,
Chris
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