The coming of mother-in-law is always a sign that business will not run as usual. Some ground rules will have to change for the sake of peace and harmony.
1. Mum-in-law will want to watch Njata TV and it would be rude to change the channels.
2. Your skin-tight pants and tight tops are good for your hubby to see, but when mother-in-law is in the house, a flowery kitenge will do to give that perfect picture of a ‘modest wife.’
3. You won’t sleep until late Saturday mid-morning. You don’t want her to know about the shenanigans you were up to behind closed doors.
4. The menu will change since mother-in- law’s stomach frowns at salt, sugar, cooking oil and spices. So while she’s around, you will be condemned to boiled meat, cabbages and warus.
5. The Godless will have to contend with being forced to kneel down every evening for one and half hours in an endless prayer.
6. Forget Njeri, Shiko, Makena and the all-girl late night Karaoke crew. Coming home in the wee hours of the morning, smelling of guarana or beer is tantamount to a death sentence.
7. Mother only sleeps on clean white 100 per cent cotton bedsheets. Woe unto you if you unleash colourful polyester which smells of mildew.
8. Meanwhile, brace yourself for the hot and dry Kikosh climate. Her trip to the city is incomplete without picking mtush for her grandchildren back in the village.
9. Have you visited the nearest tailoring shop to stitch the latest Kitenge design, Mama G wore in her latest Africa Magic Movie? You better!
10. Forget smiling with the shamba boy and any male neighbours. Nosy mum-in-law will tell on you.