10 things men want women to know about relationships

We always say that communication is the glue that holds relationships together. Nevertheless, in intimate relationships, women are more likely to voice their needs and concerns than men are. This could be because society conditions men not to show emotion or talk about their feelings.

But we all know that when you and your partner’s needs aren’t being met, it’s a recipe for disaster. More often than not, these relationships end up in bitter fights and bad breakups.

If you’ve been wondering what your man, or any man for that matter, thinks about relationships and the efforts that we put in to make them work, look no further. 

A recent tweet provided men with this much needed platform and opened our eyes to these safely guarded secrets we women are often blind to.

*MEN ONLY* Give us women some relationship advice . ???? pic.twitter.com/7upNisFEow

1. You can’t change him

Picture this, you meet a man and he has habits that you deem less than pleasant, or the two of you want different things. Many women often think they can change their man and get him to let’s say, see that they should marry you or change their habits. 

According to Jones_boy, “You won’t be the one to change him. Don’t waste your time. He will be the one to change him and it will happen when he’s ready. If he isn’t who you need him to be now, he won’t be that later. Move on.”

2. Stop falling for potential

If you meet a man who’s essentially not a bad person but he falls short in certain key aspects, the common thought is, ‘He has so much potential to be a great boyfriend/husband’. Falling for potential always ends up in heartbreak because like we saw above, a man can’t change unless he wants to. 

Jelareadspoemas says, “Find a man who IS the man you want. not CAN BE.”

3. His actions will show you what you truly mean to him

Sometimes we have difficulty telling people how we truly feel about them and instead we act out our feelings. For instance, if you’re not feeling your partner anymore, if you used to be great at communicating, you suddenly start avoiding calls or texts or spend more time apart when you used to like hanging out together. 

“If a dude’s energy changes and he isn’t as attentive & caring, please be the Queen that you are and move on. You don’t have time for men to be inconsistent. Don’t give him the benefit of doubt either, someone (another female) is the reason he’s changing 90% of the time,” C.S. explained

4. Don’t go through his phone

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is going through your partner’s phone. I can guarantee you that you will find something that takes away your peace even if it’s completely innocent. 

GA Boy Shawty wrote, “Don’t go throw your man phone and start asking who is who…”

5. Don’t settle

“Sometimes, you're not the one for him...and that's always okay. Why? Because he ain't the one for you, either. If y'all don't sync up where it counts, cut your losses and move on. Your person---or even people---is out there for you. Don't settle because you're scared of change,” said Miles Morales’s Edge-Up.

6. Accept compliments graciously

We often disregard compliments, disagreeing with our admirers, thinking that we’re being humble. 

Khazin said, “Please take a compliment. It's frustrating when you give a girl a compliment and she disagrees. We weren't asking for your approval on our opinion, just telling you how great you look.”

7. Find out his intentions on the first date

“On the first date make sure you ask all the questions you need in order to figure out who you’re dating. And the main question y’all need to ask from jump is “what are your intentions?”, and tell that man what your intentions are, if you’re dating to marry, tell him,” advised Curtis Leroy aka Bruce.

“And there’s no such thing as too many questions. Ask that man how his relationship with his mother is. How he grew up, does he have anger issues, how he sees himself in the next 5 years (If he doesn’t mention marriage you know you’re not getting married soon if you date him).”

8. Protect your relationship

It’s not uncommon for women to discuss their relationships with their friends. While this isn’t bad in itself, getting into too many details often has bad results especially if your friends try to advise you. 

Al advised, “Keep your girlfriends out of your business.” 

If you have problems in your relationship, speak to your partner about them and keep your drama between the two of you.

9. If he cheats its because he want to

Most of the time, if a man cheats, his girl will go after the other woman forgetting that it takes two to tangle. 

Brian Brannau wrote, “Men can not be “stolen”, if they slept with someone else it’s because they WANTED to.”

10. Put yourself first

It’s in our nature as women to nurture. We’re so good at this that we forget about ourselves. But this isn’t always a good thing especially if you forget your needs and allow yourself to be treated with disrespect. 

Micael Quaresma  advises, “Always focus on yourself first. Don’t hold anything, just say it straight away instead of saying during an argument. Be understandable but don’t allow yourself to be disrespected.