We have been together for five years but he still won’t divorce his ex.

We have been together for five years but he still won’t divorce his ex.

Dear Coleen,

I have been with my boyfriend now for five years. I love him so much and someday I’d like to marry him.

We have both been married twice before, but while I am now divorced, he still isn’t.

Before he moved in I told him I wanted him to at least start divorce proceedings, but here we are five years on and still no further forward.

He just keeps making excuses like it costs too much or he hates all the paperwork involved.

I have told him I would rather go without so we had the money to go ahead with it.

He knows this upsets me but he doesn’t seem to care. Does this mean he still has feelings for his wife?

I know he loves me, but I can’t put up with this anymore.

Coleen says,

You really do need to put your foot down here. Tell him you don’t care if it’s a bore and you can get the money together, but if he wants to stay with you, he has to do it because otherwise your relationship is going nowhere.

His excuses are pathetic to be honest. AS well as making you feel insecure, the fact that he’s still legally tied to this woman has other implications.

If something were to happen to him, his wife would be considered his next of kin and would be entitled to everything and have the power to make decisions.

If you don’t love someone any more, why would you still want to be married to them? Either he can’t quite let go of this woman or he’s incredibly lazy.

Half a day of paperwork isn’t much out of his life. He’s not showing any proper commitment to you.