Should you leave old friends behind?

Most of us go through that phase where we aren’t sure whether some friends should be in our lives or if it’s time to let them go.

These friends could have been in your life since childhood, high school or maybe your college years but now you’re just not sure what to do.

First, you need to understand the trigger behind this debate you’re having. Try and analyze why you’re feeling a certain way and what led you to actually consider breaking up with them.

What I can tell you is that there’s no uniform answer to this question. Everyone has a unique bond with their friends so it’s had to get a straight yes or no.

However, there are certain questions you should ask yourself before you make the decision. 

Are they holding you back or helping you improve?

Friends are kind of like a compass in life. The types of friends you choose lead you towards a certain direction, whether good or bad. You’re all influencing each other to do certain things and at the end, you pay for the consequences on your own.

Many friendships can have a toxic foundation at the beginning then transform into something meaningful with time. You might be the type of person who went through a party phase and there’s nothing wrong with that but if you’re still stuck in that same position years later, that could be a warning sign. At some point, you could also be the one longing to have a new start but every time you try, your friends seem to take you back to square one.

In this case, you really need to think about making some changes.

Another huge thing to think about is whether they actually encourage and support you. Some find themselves with friends that always put them down whenever they try to make any progress.

It’s hard to realize what’s happening when those discouraging words are coming from the bestie you’ve known for a very long time because you’re so used to brushing things off as banter. But in reality, you genuinely need to start questioning whether they have good intentions for you.

Have they been there for you?

Tough seasons usually bring out the truth about your friendship. Are they the type to go MIA whenever you’re having some trouble or do they show up when you need them most? Of course, you can’t expect them to always bail you out of petty situations but when it comes to the major things, they should have showed up.

The bond of a friendship is usually tested during tough times so you need to see how they have been responding.

Ask yourself whether it’s been a one-sided thing or whether they have done all they can to be there for you.

You have to take your time with this because you don’t want to start analyzing everything though emotions instead of looking at the facts. There could be times where you expected them to be there for you but maybe they were also going through their own issues. You also need to think about the times you could have overreacted and expected too much from them.

The main thing you need to focus on is how they handled the major events in your life then look at what it says about your friendship.

What’s your final decision?

These two areas hold a lot of weight in a long-term friendship. When you’re considering what to do, you should get some clarity by looking at what matters. They might have their shortcomings, obviously, and you’ve probably had some arguments. But despite all that, are they able to put those things aside and stand firm beside you.

And as you think about that, would they say that you’re the type of friend they would still want in their lives?

Think about it and make a decision.