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Steve Nyabwa :So what if my wife is older than me?

My Man

When former Tusker Project Fame (TPF) contestant Steve Nyabwa married a woman eight years his senior in 2014, a lot was said about his decision. He opens up to Munde Okuna about his marriage and why he chose her over his age mates.

Do you ever get bothered when you hear and read all the stories about your marriage?

No. I am happily married and people can say all sorts of things, but here’s the thing – someone can call you a dog 100 times, but that doesn’t make you a dog. The statement only becomes true when you accept it.

So I let people talk.

Even after participating in TPF, a woman randomly stepped up to me at a mall and told me I couldn’t sing. She didn’t even know me. If I listened to that, I wouldn’t have gone far.

Was the eight-year age gap ever a concern when you decided to court your wife?

No. My wife was the first person to ever tell me the truth and she made me change the way I lived.

Before that, no one, not my family, not my friends told me I was living wrong. I made bad decisions with money and my lifestyle was full of promiscuity and all. She put me in check.

That was after I had participated in TPF and I was hot back in 2011. I would make Sh300,000 a day from gigs – I would do one in the morning, another in the afternoon and another in the evening and each would pay Sh100,000.

But that did not impress Lydia. She told me I still had a long way to go and meeting her changed my whole life. She is the one who introduced me to the world of business.

So you met during a gig?

The company she worked for then was looking for a musician to provide entertainment for an event and that’s how we met.

I had to pursue her for a year before she finally agreed to give me a chance.

What is your relationship like with your wife’s 19-year-old son from her previous marriage?

He’s our son. He’s my son. I practically helped raise him from the time I met his mother and he is even closer with me than his mother because he is a teenager and there are things only two guys can talk about.

So you have adopted him?

What are you talking about adoption? What does it matter? All you need to know is he is my son.

Do you intend to expand your family in the future?

Children are a gift from God...But yes, we hope to get children.

What do you tell people who don’t understand why you married someone who is older?

We need to stop forcing ourselves to fit into society’s definition of what is ideal. That is one of the reasons there are many broken homes – because we think we are supposed to marry such-and-such a person.

I could have married someone my age and maybe it wouldn’t have worked and I wouldn’t have grown to be the person I am today. I decided to marry my wife because she had all the qualities I was looking for in a wife. The role of a wife is to be a helper to a man and I found that in her.

Ok…now you seem to have many businesses. You have just started a car care company, then the other day I read you have a real estate company. Where do you get all the money to start and run these businesses?

The bank, me, my wife and my brother’s savings.

Right now, the real estate business is not doing so well because of the political situation. Also, rogues have made it difficult for the rest of us to succeed because people are sceptical about buying parcels of land and getting conned.

That’s why we have the Shine In Sparkles company, which we started five months ago so we can supplement our income.

For the real estate firm, it was a church-owned company and my wife and I joined as partners, but the partnership didn’t work, so we ended up buying it. The company is called Gist.

Gist like Nigerian pidgin – I gist you (I talk to you)?

No, it actually has a spiritual element. It’s an acronym that stood for Godly Investments… yeah…

You also have a digital marketing company..

Yes. That has helped market Shine In Sparkles.

Why did you abandon your music career?

I still sing, but as I said, my wife opened my mind to the possibilities of business, so that is what I am doing for now.

What did you study in school?


Then how did you land on TPF?

To be honest, it was all about the money. I had aimed to win the competition and pocket the Sh5 million cash prize, but that didn’t work out.

Any final word to naysayers?

I don’t listen to them. I live my life and I am happily married; very happily married.


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