I don't understand menfolk's obsession with growing a beard. When did having a raggedy-ass face become every man's pride and dream?
Women prefer clean-shaven men. Personally, I wouldn't look at a scruffy man twice. I am not attracted to bearded men. I think beards are hideous and furthermore, I don't think it is a coincidence that the most notorious terrorists of all time all had bushy beards.
A beard is a trademark for evil. A few years go I started dating a nice, decent bloke. When we started going out, he was always well shaven, but a few months into the relationship he decided he wanted to grow a beard.
Naturally, I was horrified but I am not the kind of girlfriend who likes to badger a man, especially over such a petty thing as a beard. I decided to let him go ahead with it, thinking he would grow it for a short while and then get rid of it when he saw how revolting he looked with it.
To my absolute horror, he didn't. He loved his bristly stubble. No matter how many not-so-subtle hints I dropped about my aversion to it (including buying him a razor and shaving cream), he kept on growing it. I hated it!
Apart from the fact that he looked like a hobo, I hated the feel of it on my face when I wanted to snuggle or cuddle. It was scratchy and felt like I had a sandpaper against my face. It became a serious issue in our relationship and the more I hounded him, the more dug his heels in and refused to shave it off.
He was adamant that I couldn't tell him what he could or could not do with his body. He insisted that it was wrong of me to put those demands on him when I'd hit the roof if he ever suggested that he doesn't like the way I do my hair for instance and he insisted that I changed it to suit his liking.
He asked me how I would feel if he asked me to stop wearing makeup. He had a valid point but there was no way I was going to continue walking around with a cave man! I was at the end of my wits. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't let some facial hair ruin my life and my relationship.
Then I got an ingenious idea. Direct confrontation was getting me nowhere. It was time for me to get a little bit creative and I employed a passive aggressive tactic that I knew would get him to shave his beard in no time at all.
I decided to stop shaving too. My legs, my pubes, my underarms, everything! A bit drastic, but hey, you know what they say; drastic times calls for drastic measures. Usually I never have any hair on my body below my eyebrows, but I was willing to put up with a little discomfort to get my boyfriend to come around.
My usually hairless legs, armpits and private areas went into unkempt bush territory rather quickly and he started to notice. He was not into 'bush' and he started complaining immediately. He said my body fuzz was a turn off.
I then told him I would only shave it off if he shaved his beard. He thought I was bluffing, but I stood my ground. Two weeks later the beard was gone. Just like that. So ladies, if your boyfriend or husband has a scraggly beard he refuses to get rid off, you know what to do.