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My neighbour is sleeping with the house help

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I am a housewife based in Eldoret and have been seeing some funny things happening in my new neighbor’s house. Ever since they moved in two months ago, the man of the house always comes home during the day mostly at lunch time. When the house help opens the door, it is obvious that she was expecting him from the way she is dressed. I strongly believe something fishy is going on there, and I really want to help but I am not close with the woman of the house. How can I get this information to her without appearing to be spying on her family? She looks tough and many times unapproachable, but I really want to save the situation. How do I go about this? {Arnet}

 

Your Take:

Before you spill the beans, speak to this house help and find out what is going on between her and the man of the house. If it turns out to be the woman’s fault, then share this with her so that she can change.

Also know that this woman may not be as tough as you think she is. You will be surprised to discover that behind that tough face is a very vulnerable woman. Warn the man too, and the house girl that their affair is already public, and that it is a matter of time before the wife discovers the truth.

{Tasma Charles}

The wise way to go about this is to assume you never saw anything otherwise, be ready to face the repercussions. If you go ahead and tell the woman the shenanigans her hubby is up to, this will bring nothing but trouble. Bear in mind that you have only known this couple for two months.

{Dr. John Mogeni - Dadaab}

Before you make any radical move, confirm whether these two are indeed having an affair. If they are, talk to the house girl and tell her that what she is doing is not right.

 If she does not change, get a third party who is closer to the man to try and put some sense into him. If that does not work, let nature takes its cause. Siku za mwizi ni arubaini.

{Obino Joshua}

Do not be quick to conclude that the two are already in a relationship. Before you act, gather enough evidence. I must warn you that you need to keep your nose out of other people’s affairs.

This is really none of your business.

{Robert Ojou}

Leave that man to enjoy what he is doing while it lasts. Remember “siku za mwizi ni arubaini”. They will be caught sooner rather than later.

{Langat Lebcash}

Kindly concentrate on the affairs of your home otherwise, you may be creating a problem for yourself while trying to solve someone else’s. If you want to help, approach the man and the girl separately and tell them the repercussions of what they are doing. Talking to the woman will not sort anything.

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{Onyango Outha – Jauduny}

Arnet, please remember that what you don’t know cannot hurt you. Leave that sensitive issue to that family; they will sort it out on their own. In your mission to play Good Samaritan, the tables might turn on you, and the woman may accuse you of being the evil one.

Mind your business and keep this issue to yourself.

{Ouma Ragumo, Sifuyo}  

 

Counselor’s Take:

If your fears are true, this man is definitely doing something immoral.

But sadly, this is purely none of your business. You may actually be surprised to learn that his wife is aware of the state of affairs, but there is nothing she can do about it. This man probably has a weakness when it comes to house girls and the woman knows it.

It may even be the reason they moved from their former residence to avert the shame of similar, frequent and recurrent scandals.

Granted, you want to do this in good faith just like many others have. However, such a move, though it is well-intentioned, may blow up right on your face.

Many have been accused of attempting to break up happy homes while others have been assaulted in the process.

If you really have to do this, then I encourage you to do it discretely and diplomatically (find a way to do it without disclosing your identity).

And be very careful so that the communication is not traced back to you.

Find a safe way to inform the woman about what is going on, and ask her to lay a trap on her husband.

My advice though is you stay out of this because it is really none of your business. Matters between two lovers are sensitive and a third party is always considered the intruder. {Taurus}

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