Why men (yes, on earth) want saintly women
Today in Nyeri, Sister Nyaatha is being beatified and beautified into a Catholic saint. God likes saints, and men like saintly women. That is all there is to it - so I donno why women, via our website www.evewoman.co.ke and social media, are making so much brouhaha (ah, I love that word, brouhaha) about our main magazine feature last weekend that outlined the saintly attributes in women that men like that will make your home a heaven for your man, ahem, if not quite your haven.
St Paul said women should be submissive to their men. Can’t you read the Scripture, and as we used to say in the good old days of Promulgation about the Katiba: ‘jisomee, jieleweshe, na jitolee huo ujinga kwa kichwa’? If a lady wants to defy St Paul, that’s fine.
Just remember this scripture after you get to the Pearly Gates (which are sort of like the Custom’s barriers of Heaven) and you find St Peter at the gate and, on the reco of St Paul, Peter refuses to let you in.
Unless, of course, you are from Nyeri and knew Sister Nyaatha personally and she sneaks you in through the back gate into paradise; because Heaven has a large ‘This Is a Zero Corruption Zone’ sign floating on a cloud beside the Pearly Gates.
Back to Earth with a bang, Mamas, yuh and ‘duh,’ of course, no man wants a gold digger for a wife or even for a girlfriend! I am certainly not an advocate for those cave men who treat a lady out for a meal then burp afterwards, ‘aya, kira mtu achiripie tubo yake!’ when the tab arrives at table.
But these days, you have socialite type women who want to be taken for ‘holiday in Brasserie, Italy, so I can scope where Sister Nyaatha was born.’ Believe me, even if you take such a person to Venezia, the most romantic city in the world, it will not save your relationship if it was based on quicksand. Besides, it’s Bressia, blondie weave!
Yes, and we men want our wives and women to be hard working types, who put a little bacon to the bread we bring to table, pay some fraction of the rent, and pay a bill.
If we wanted spendthrifts, we would just go to the casino and hook up with someone there, innit? Some senseless women have no sense of the future or even savings, and these ones are useless. If you want to play at lazy lady of the manor, make sure the man you marry has a manor, manner-less trollope.
Life is hard, and a whining woman makes it harder still for her man. So that he prefers to run away, even on Saturday afternoons till late at night, to drink beer and watch football rather than be in a ten-mile radius of her miserable presence. He will switch off his phone just to get piece of mind from your nagging.
Even God hates complainers!
When Moses nagged, whined and quarreled with God for water at Meribah Kadesh in the Desert of Zin, God saw this as a great sin. He let Moses live just long enough to lead the Israelites to the edge of the Promised Land.
Then he died on the top of Mount Nebo after God let him have a glimpse of the Promised Land. This is why some men lead some women right up to the altar ... then dump them.