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She quit marriage, we held a party, but what next?

Girl Talk
 Photo: Courtesy

She quit marriage, we held a party, but what next?

In this era where marriages and relationships are more of trial and error than commitment, we are bound to have more blended families.

Heartbreaks and divorces have rocked the air and it looks like, unlike before, women are now hardened in such a way that they recover faster from heartbreaks and swiftly move on.

No wonder I was invited for a divorce party last weekend. Women have definitely gone to another level! Instead of crying a river and soaking their pillows after a break up, they pick themselves up, dust themselves off and take the next step with their heads held high.

The party was out of this world, it was the first of its kind. It was a ‘Women only’ party. The dress code was yellow and the cake was that of a huge remote control to symbolize that women have taken control of their happiness!

The ‘STOP’ and the ‘PLAY’ buttons stood out. That was to symbolize the end of a marriage and the beginning of a new era.

Just like Shakira, we danced all night. After all, we have the remote controls of our lives! I ate the ‘FORWARD’ button? Oh God, I had to, my current days are hectic and all I need in my life is a fast forward, you will soon know why.

We are headed to more and more blended families. The big question though is, “Are we ready for these kind of families?” Do we know how to balance the love, care and attention equally to all members of such families?

Most parents from blended families get in a fix when it comes to disciplining children who are not theirs biologically. Some have even been branded ‘evil step-parents’ because of the way the discipline other children.

For this reason, most parents have left the duty of disciplining to the biological parent of a child and only concentrate on their biological children. This has caused rifts in such families.

For instance, a husband or a wife will wait to vent on his/her partner instead of the child, accusing them of failing to play their roles on their children.


In some instances, some parents will accuse the other of malice any time they are told their children need some spanking. This ends up causing more conflict, creating the perfect environment for yet another divorce and yet another blended family.

It even becomes difficult when one parent gets into the marriage with teenage children and the other with toddlers! The fight for attention starts almost immediately. Teens fighting to be heard and toddlers fighting to be pampered.

If you are the biological parent of the toddlers, you have no experience on handling teens and so you would tend to ignore and accuse them of disturbance, especially when they refuse to give your children some attention and deny them the playtime they need in the house, including watching Nickelodeon. It’s even worse when they turn your children into punching bags!

On the other hand, if you are the biological parent of the teens, you have probably forgotten how to handle toddlers and leave the responsibility to their parents, which weighs them down. To you, your teens need you more at this time of their lives, making you shut the toddlers out.

As we both embrace the winds of change regarding love and relationships, we must also embrace the challenges that come with them. Let’s put our children first. Say YES to the children, all children!

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