How long do relationships last nowadays? A year or so ago, I was in four relationships in a span of three months. And I mean relationships in every sense of the word; coffee dates, night outs, cohabiting, meeting friends, borrowing and lending money, the occasional movie, name it. But they all ended as soon as they started.
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I thought I was alone, until I looked around my friends and took some census. Incredibly, barring the chips funga, functional one-night-stands and the inebriated women they had hit on at parties, they had been in relationships that lasted no more than a month. I mean I have been introduced to many women as girlfriends of my close friends, I have even lost count.
Nowadays, shorter relationships are the norm, longer ones the exception. When I meet people of my age who date for more than six months, it strikes me as odd. Many young people (under 30) who work, drink and are outgoing, mostly subscribe to shorter relationships.
Relationships have become a tad too experimental; more focused on short-lived fun and sex than any attendant thing that used to enrich a dating experience. And thus relationships have become scarily repulsive. Even bad boys in town have given up. Relationships are more pegged on sexual expediency than a long courtship process that taxes individuals too much energy. We are arguably the laziest generation when it comes to dating.
Come to think of it, when was the last time you had a good date out with someone you love? You felt the chemistry work, the brain stop, and saw the world in a different light. Our generation won’t know what love is even if it ran around naked. God forbid. But what happened? I will blame women.
Women stopped playing hard to get. The thrill of the chase went out around 2001 when more women discovered the liberating effects of alcohol. You meet a woman and after a few drinks, the stage is set. More depressingly, even women are ready for flings.
If you go out for a week and it does not work and you stopped calling, many women scarcely bother following up. Very frightening if you asked me. I mean, when women stop giving a damn, it scares the wits out of men. Commitment too is a foreign idea both for men and women, lately. Indeed, demanding careers and going for more academic papers has pressurised individuals into shelving romantic cravings. Nowadays we live in perpetual fear that nothing will work, so we just want to enjoy while it lasts. Nobody wants to put any effort into a relationship.
There is a point in one’s career when you are so demotivated that the only thing that keeps you going to work is the salary. Your heart and mind are somewhere else. You give the barest minimal that is required at the workplace. It is no different in relationships. Individuals give the least effort and a few weeks later, the relationship ends like it started —without a bang.
But short-lived relationships have only served to make women sceptical and they no longer believe in love. Scepticism in relationship was a preserve of men. Now women play the game too. Upshot is that we have ‘relationettes’ according to Australian columnist, Samuel Brito (something that lasts for just a few weeks).
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