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Living happily ever after

By JENNIFER KARINA | September 28th 2013


The last three weeks, I discussed the various stages of a marriage relationship, Dream, Drama, and Discovery. How a couple navigates through the stages can make the difference in the quality of relationship the couple enjoys in the future.  After navigating these stages a couple gets to the final stage of marriage, the Depth stage.

At the stage, the couple finds contentment and fulfillment in their relationship.  They extend unconditional love and accept each other despite their differences, exercising forgiveness for mistakes or unfulfilled dreams in the past. As the couples allows themselves the freedom to enjoy the benefits of a marriage that satisfies their needs, they enter the final stage with gladness.

Depth stage

The Depth stage is characterised by a more profound and lasting intimacy, resulting from years of sharing ups and downs. It is a period, which lives out the vision of the partnership and exercises unconditional love and the bond of “best friends”. It is a time when couples work to keep the fire aglow and makes effort to build their intimacy levels.   At this time, the mature marriage should be consistent in deep love, success, and transformation.

During this stage, spouses begin to accept each other for who they are and to accommodate one another’s strengths and weaknesses. They choose to work together to renew their relationship, learning about their individual needs and managing their differences and areas of conflict.

They learn to communicate effectively, creating emotional safety that becomes part of their healing. Consequently, the relationship grows. Somehow, it is much easier for them to work through challenges that come their way because they have made adjustments and developed mutual understanding and trust. They finally have realistic expectations of each other, accept the uniqueness of their partner, and cherish one another.

It is worth acknowledging that most people whose marriages do not work are not necessarily bad people, they are people who never had the privilege of having the proper tools while navigating these stages of marriage, neither did they have mentors to walk them the journey of life.

Romance literature

They simply entered into the relationship expecting that the romance will follow up with happily ever after formula portrayed in the media and romance literature. It makes a difference to learn skills, attitudes and tools that can walk the journey of marriage. When applied well, with patience, compassion and wisdom then the couple is able to find the depth they so desire to live happily ever after. This is the point that all couples wish for.

While it is often believed that only a few couples ever reach this stage, it is attainable. The only hindrance of not getting to the point that you desire is not being committed and remaining focused to what brought you together in the first place. Getting yourself stuck in an early stage of marriage can keep you from experiencing something incredible and wonderful, enjoy bliss in your later years.

Marriage is all about two people that are willing to learn to love each other and work out the conflicts and problems.

Happily ever after is determined by the choices, attitudes and goodwill invested in the relationship. 

Enjoy every season and thrive!

The writer is a Relationship Coach and Author, Marriage Built to Last You can reach her on;  www.jenniekarina.co.ke



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