Body image in the bedroom

By Jennie karina

Body image is an individual’s perception of their physical self — whether they consider themselves attractive and how they think others, particularly their partners, view them.

For many individuals, body image is closely linked to self-esteem. Many women struggle with poor body image and feelings of unattractiveness, which inhibits fulfilling sexual intimacy.  Body image is personal, and there is no easy way to overcome a poor body image unless the individual is willing to work on their self-defeating thoughts and perceptions or the body areas that need attention. Sometimes it requires a therapist’s support.

Positive thinking

Esther, who has suffered a poor body image, tells her story: “I go through periods of feeling flabby, fat and just unattractive. I have had these challenges for years. Despite my partner’s compliments, my feelings remain the same. I often feel bad about myself — my scars, stretch marks, imperfect body, hair and my legs.  Many times I am embarrassed about my body image. It’s a big issue, as it affects our sex life. Although my partner is concerned and wants to understand, I do not talk to him about it.”

Are you having issues with your body image? Maybe it is time to face the facts and be true to yourself. It may be helpful to answer the following question: Is your body image affecting your thought life and preventing you from a fulfilling sexual relationship? If so, the following tips will help you have a better self image and feel secure with your partner in order to enjoy a healthy sexual and intimate relationship.

Appreciate your uniqueness: The greatest mistake you can make is to compare yourself with others.  Always remember you are unique and fearfully and wonderfully created in the image of God. Celebrate yourself for you are the best.

Be your best friend: You are often your greatest critic. Appreciate your strengths and massage your ego, especially in areas where you are endowed. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Exploit your strengths and this will lift your spirits. Surely you have something great to pride about.

Stop that victim mentality: If you know what bothers you about your body, work on it and stop playing victim. Make a plan and work towards the set goals. Be diligent and in no time you will boost your ego, self-esteem and confidence. Do not quit. Get a friend to hold you accountable and stay focused on the target.

Stay positive: Remember that a healthy mind begets a healthy body, lifestyle and relationship. The power of positive thinking will enable you love your body because you will condition your mind to appreciate who you are and what you have. You won’t also be put down by negative comments.

It is helpful to understand that romance and chemistry shared by partners goes beyond the physical body. It involves a decision, hormones, emotions and intimacy intricacies that are difficult to define. Physical attraction may play a part at the beginning but once you have connected and are intimate, you become one and the stretch marks and other imperfections fade off and who you really are matters. 

Working on your body image may take time, but it is worth it, as it helps you feel secure in yourself, your partner and the relationship.

The writer is a relationship coach and author, Marriage Built to Last. You can reach her on; www.jenniekarina.co.ke