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Your insecurity is driving him away

By By ZAWADI LOMPISHA | June 23rd 2012

So you are in your second marriage and you claim to be happy with your current spouse, but are you really?

Why do you have to take out your past misfortune of a bad marriage on your current spouse? 

Do you have to snoop around your husband’s life hoping to catch him cheating on you like your first husband? Any small opportunity to pore through his text messages can never be bypassed. You will ‘just happen’ to have been around his office at lunchtime to pop in and see who he is having lunch with. He can never have a phone conversation out of your earshot because you must know who he is talking to. You are extremely suspicious and insecure.

Sister, nobody doubts the saying ‘once beaten twice shy’, but let it go! You can’t live the rest of your life operating like a detective waiting to bust your husband. If you had opted to be single, you would have had no reason to suspect anyone. Now that you are re-married, give the guy the benefit of doubt and this time round, purpose to enjoy your marriage.

Let’s talk about the history lessons that you take the poor guy through often. Does he need to be reminded of all the gory things you went through in your first marriage whenever you have a disagreement? He was not a part of that story and he probably would rather not hear them. If he comes home late, you are up in arms and will quickly retort: “This is how my first husband started!”

If he doesn’t tell you who he’s been talking to on the phone as soon as he hangs up, you will remark that your first husband began fielding calls that were said to be from the office only for you to learn that they were his lovers. Should he indicate his displeasure at something you have done, you will ask him who he is comparing you with, as happened before!

You should also stop smothering your husband with unnecessary niceness. The “darling, are you okay?” every five minutes or “darling, is there anything you’d like me to do?” as if he doesn’t have a mouth to ask for himself, only makes you look like a bootlicker and unappealing.

Remember, he saw you and made up his mind to marry you. He won’t leave you, so quit worrying.


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