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The rivalry between single women and married women


1. Many married women tend to be suspicious of single women. Dear wives, not every woman who is single is after your husband.

2. Many single women feel pity for married women when they hear of how wives are being mistreated in marriage. Dear single ladies, not every wife has it bad in marriage, marriage is still a beautiful union.

3. Many married women look down on single women because they view marriage is an award, the married women tend to look at single women as less worthy of respect. Dear wives, marriage is not an achievement. You are not more special or grown than women who are not married or who don't have children.

4. Many single women gang up to talk about the troubles married women go through to console themselves since they are not married. Dear single women, there is nothing honourable about gossip. A woman who sits down with other women to gloat over the troubles of other women needs to mature beyond this habit.

5. Many married women have formed a stereotype about single mothers thinking single mothers are those loose desperate women looking for a handout from other women's husbands. Dear married women, not every woman is financially struggling or an opportunist.

6. Many single women look at married women as being in prison and lacking freedom. Dear single women, if being independent is so important to you then choose that for yourself, other women find fulfillment in being interdependent and raising a home, being accountable to a husband and raising children with the man they love.

7. Many married women see single women as failures because they have not married. Dear wives, not every woman dreams of marriage or even having children. The worth of a woman is not determined by her relationship status. Women were created for more than being a wife and a mother, marriage is a union a woman willingly chooses to walk into. If you chose that for yourself, good for you. Do not impose your choice on others.

8. Many single women make fun of married women and their body changes "Oh my! Look at how big Mama Kalendi has grown!". Dear single women, every woman's body is bound to change, especially when the body goes through motherhood and the demanding journey of raising a home. As you brag about your sexy body, flat tummy, firm breasts and Instagram look; another woman is taking pride in the children she has raised and the husband she has walked through thick and thin with. You may have a sexy body but fighting loneliness; that married woman has stretchmarks, saggy boobs, jiggly butt and big tummy but with a husband who finds her sexy.

9. Many married women see single women as the problem when their husbands cheat with them. Dear wives, when your husband cheats, the biggest culprit is not the single woman but your husband who allowed it to happen.

10. Many single women covet what married women have and they speak to married women with some jealousy and spite, they try and poke holes at the progress of other women's marriages. Dear single ladies, be happy for other women when they find love. Be patient, continue being busy building yourself, your husband will find you in due time if marriage is what you desire.

11. Many married see single women as a threat to their marriage and they break off those friendships. Dear married women, don't choose friends based on relationship status but on values and maturity. As a friend values and respects your marriage, keep her, whether she is single, divorced, widowed or married. Sometimes the best advice comes from level headed singles. Wisdom comes from God, not relationship status.

This rivalvry among women is not healthy. Women need to stop seeing each other as enemies based on their age, child bearing, childlessness or relationship status.

© Dayan Masinde

In my new book, MANHOOD SERIES, I demistify what being a man is and I address the man's sexuality, his faith, emotions, relations, thoughts, struggles and needs.

In my other new book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I talk how a woman can be the best her as an individual, a wife, a mother and a friend. I also address her needs and sexuality.

To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.

To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.

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