Married men’s desire for other women is not lack of intimacy but a reflection of masculine sexual nature of human beings

Man in his true nature never been satisfied sexually in his household despite being intimate with his woman. Many times, a man in his walk or at the place of work will ogle lustily at a woman’s boobs and behind not once or twice and that in itself communicates a message of what is going on in his mindset.

It is the reason as to why the Author David Deida in his book ‘The way of superior man’ says: - Any man with a masculine sexual essence will desire sexual variety. Even if he loves his intimate partner and is completely committed to her, he will naturally want sexual occasions with other women besides his chosen intimate partner. How a man deals with his desire for other women is up to him.

He knows, however, that there is no way to avoid such desires. He should also know that acting on such desires though temporarily enlivening and exhilarating, often ends up complicating his life far more than occasion itself is worth.

Indeed, man has quite a battle on his hands in matters of the masculine sexual essence. Take, for example, a stable marriage that has seen it all say for more than four decades rocked by allegations of lack of conjugal rights.

Abounding instance, for five decades a given marriage in Rift Valley has had the blessings of children and with it shared a totally fulfilled sex. However, right now things have fallen apart and the man is seeking a divorce from his legally married wife. The import of this man’s intention is that his masculine sexual essence desires sex, which is not forthcoming from his wife. Consequently , the man has decided to let go of the wife, but consciously must be having occasion with the other woman who he anticipates will fill the void left by the departure of his wife.

 Essentially, this does not mean that intimacy is not there, it’s a reflection of the man’s conquest nature in sex as a masculine sexual being. Men go out of their way to maintain households and livelihoods in Diaspora so that, that essential potency of the illicit union not diminished at all. However, that notwithstanding man egged on by his ego, challenges him when he sees his peers engaged in sexual exploits. He asks his conscience for example like if Mr. X has accomplished that or is married to one woman and has a mpango wa kando and seems to be doing well why not me?

Moreover, having an eye for nyumba ndogo is also a biological heritage probably your great grandfather had multiple wives, also a factor that could predispose one to be polygamous. Although people see and know them as a monogamous, they conceal from society the other woman, who is the second wife consciously. Whether it is one childhood conditioning hereditary or not the glaring or brazen truth about a creature called man is that he desires novelty in women hoping that variety would satisfy his endeavors sexually. That is why in spite of status in society, married men at some point, must have had a life in Diaspora of impeccable sexual integrity.

Marriages fail in achieving objectives because men as the standard-bearers of households have failed to discipline their lust for boob’s varieties, for the benefit of established, binding solemn marriage institutional vows to be one flesh until death does them apart. As I write, 90% of marriage breakdowns are majorly caused by men, for two reasons, one disrespect for the marriage union, two men consider women socially and economically unequal, hence torture them through financial deprivation and not affording time to share the challenges encountered at a table by the way of discussion. It's high time man evolved beyond nature’s masculine sexual being, macho jerk ideal, all spine and no heart to legal wife.

Here is a question seeking an answer. Why do our women in marriages show feminine sexual essence outside? To answer that: - It is because of man’s failure to fulfill core and bonding bedroom gymnastics, love and empowering them financially so to cater to basic needs at the household.