When "House Wives of Kawangware Lovers" fight

                              Njuguna of Real Househelps of Kawangware

NJUGUSH

Pulse: Describe Awiti…

Njugush: Awiti is the woman you don’t want to cross. She is that stain on your shirt that just won’t come out.

P: Why are you a better actor than her?

N: Awiti does all the hitting or beating and I do all the reacting.

P:  What alternative stage name would you give her?

N: Wangû wa Makeri; Awiti anakalia wanaume pia (she also sits on men).

P:  What irritates you about her?

N: She is always roughing everyone up. She takes her job a bit too serious.

P: What is the most outrageous thing she has ever done on set?

N:  She once kept people starving and we had our lunch three hours late. She kept on forgetting her lines.

P:   If she were not an actress, which job would suit her?

N:  Mama pima. That way, there will be no customer who will drink without paying.

P:  If you were to pick a celebrity date for her, who would it

                be?

N:  DK Kwenye Beat. We all agree she should be put in her place right? She needs some beating and DK can handily do so.

P:  What don’t people know about her?

N:   She is the type that can’t harm a fly without the script. She is mtu hivi hivi. She should thank Abel Mutua for giving her ‘voice’ in the script.

P:  Mchongoano?

N:  Ni mnono mpaka hana room for improvement. Also ni mnono mpaka her computer haina spacebar. (She is so fat that there is no room for improvement, so much so her computer doesn’t have the spacebar)

 

 AWITI

 

Pulse: Describe Njugush...

Awiti: If you look at him, what do you see that is worth description, really? The man is a walking skeleton.

P:   Why are you a better actor than him?

A:   One, I am Awiti; Njugush is way below my league, there is no need for comparison.

P:  What alternative stage name would you give to him?

A:   Ken wa Maria. He has the same Kamba antics like the singer.

P:  What irritates you about him?

A:  The way he likes doing things that are not funny, like farting. Another is that he can eat a whole chicken yet he does not gain a kilo. I am irritated as all that food goes to waste.

P:   What is the most outrageous thing he has ever done on set?

A:   He had to take 14 takes on one scene that he only had five lines.

P:  If he were not an actor, which job should suit him?

A: He would be a night runner, just have a look at him! Alternatively, he can sell bananas or be a witchdoctor.

P:  If you were to pick a celebrity date for him, who would it

                be?

A:  Kalekye Mumo. He loves them big.

P:  What don’t people know about him?

A:  He is a very good eater. People think that since he is very slender, then the guy does not eat.

P:  Mchongoano..?

A:   Ako na kichwa kubwa na mwili mdogo mpaka (He has such a big head but slim body) when he dies, his coffin will be in the shape of a lollipop.