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‘I am my mother's favourite.' A child is at either ends of such a declaration. If there is a favourite, then there is a less favourite," says Sheila Wachira.
"Siblings will become opposed to their parents' favourite. Favouritism contributes to (if not instigates) sibling rivalry," Sheila continues.
Wandia Maina thinks that it is imperative that parents manage early sibling rivalry in a way that doesn't have a damaging effect on them later.
According to Sheila, one of the ways is by parents offering equal love, support and care for every sibling.
"Parents should have a 'no-favourite' policy. Children develop at different times and excel at different things. We should celebrate their differences and encourage them to pursue what it is they are good at."
According to Wandia, parents contribute to rivalry when they put up standards.
"Parents sometimes don't understand that every child is unique in their own existence. Siblings cannot behave the same way or even achieve in the same measure. When parents set rigid standards they are setting up some children for failure because not all of them will meet the standards," says Wandia.
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In a typical situation, the sibling who achieves as parents' deem excellent is celebrated leaving the ones who don't achieve feeling inadequate and less cherished.
"Siblings will start comparing themselves to each other. This then sets forth a competition where there is bound to be a winner and a loser. The best thing you can do for your children is to accentuate every child's positive attribute," Wandia says.
But then what if you, as a parent are the one still shackled to sibling rivalry that overshot childhood?
"Your children can see how you react to their uncle or aunt. It is a behavior that can poison their thoughts and behavior too.
It is therefore time to forget those grudges; to tear up the long list of real and perceived slights or fall-outs from favouritism meted against you and move on," concludes Sheila.
