Road to Singapore: Ruto's wheelbarrow gains wings to fly

 

President William Ruto during a fund drive in aid of a women's group and boda boda sacco in Mathira, Nyeri County.  [File, Standard]

Folks, greetings from a wintry London. I’m here to benchmark what a so-called “First World” looks like, now that Prezzo Bill Ruto has unveiled a plan that he purports will transform fortunes of our nation by miraculously building, in two years, the sort of infrastructure we couldn’t achieve in 62 years. And since he thinks he’s better than his four predecessors put together, who are we to doubt him?

I am rushing the story, though, mainly because looking in from afar allows very insightful perspectives, such as England’s bad weather as the primary motivation for colonialism.

The Brits simply conquered other lands to escape their horrible weather. I swear I can’t stand this place another day. The temperatures have plunged to single digits, so even window panes are teary from the cold, and daylight recedes as early as 4pm.

Consequently, those of us who rely on rhythms of nature to monitor the progress of the day are simply disorientated. I have responded to the bad weather by retrieving a hat I haven’t worn for years, let my beards grow out for extra insulation and adorned layers of clothing that make one resemble a puffed out doll!

The outcome has been remarkable: A distrusting neighbour ushered me ahead, fearful I could be plotting a ngeta behind him. I removed the hat when I next ventured out. A street beggar rushed towards me, pleading for alms, so folks here are either running away or rushing towards me; there is nothing in-between.

One might say our nation’s “development” agenda is similarly swinging from one extreme to another; three years ago, we were promised that so-called “hustlers” would be wheeled in barrows to unprecedented prosperity, from bottom up, as cost of living was levelled within 100 days.

It’s been 1000 days since, and many hustlers have been lamenting they have only grown poorer, pushed lower than the bottom, tasting asperity, not prosperity. Understandably, they are not interested in the abracadabra being propounded around some magic wand called Infrastructure Fund.

It appears Prezzo Ruto forgot his previous assessment that a) people cannot eat roads, and even castigated his predecessor for doing exactly that, b) wheelbarrows don’t need roads, they use tracks c) such contraptions are not used in Singapore, because all services are automated and d) all the above.

But I refuse to despair. Indeed, it is possible for Prezzo Ruto to say he intends to build more roads in two years than we ever did in 62 years because he need not do anything at all — besides saying it, as he did in 2022.

And if he says Singapore is within striking distance, and he believes the vehicle out of poverty is creation of a Sh5 trillion Infrastructure Fund to replace the wheelbarrow, why not let him be?

The reason for my restraint is simple. When one is outside the country, the risk of being barred from return is always there — just ask Miguna Miguna. Secondly, this is the season of goodwill, as we mark the Christmas and the New Year.

Which is why I will not say those championing Infrastructure Fund do not have akili — the stuff Prezzo Bill Ruto accuses others of lacking. I guess they are thinking with their stomachs, for this special purpose vehicle will justify opaque sale and plunder of our national assets.

On that score, they are craftier than we credit them for. A computer, after all, is a hunk of metal and plastics; what powers it is the software. Building on this analogy, we know the software that powers Singapore’s economy, as engineered by its forebears is integrity, meritocracy and the absence of corruption.

We lack the local capacity to produce these elements. Which is to say the engineering behind UDA’s Infrastructure Fund is akin to turning a wheelbarrow into a chopper. Let’s grant them the desires of their bellies, in this season of goodwill.