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Many parents won’t admit it, but most hardly look forward to school holidays, despite the old saying that change is as good as rest.
The extra idle mouths to feed have to be watched lest they relapse into endless mischief.
You have to ‘lock’ some TV programmes, besides keeping the children busy with holiday games, visits and sleep-overs at their well-to-do relatives. Here are 10 ways school holidays drive many a parent nuts:
1. Hao mwenda
They come and turn the house upside down, having invited neighbours over to “fix” a leaking roof or pipe.
Despite endless flogging, these kids are also likely to invade and drink maziwa ya mtoto and proceed to play ‘hide and seek’ with the family pet.
2. Hosi visits
Many are the times you will be hanging around the outpatient wing of hospitals after your over-playful kids jumped from the rooftop from effects of watching too many movies and breaking limbs in the process.
There are also kitchen burns to contend with after experiments go awry.
3. Shida ya majirani
Many are the times you will be forced to mop your neighbour’s corridor since Joy peed on it.
You will also have random women at your doorstep cursing and claiming that your children picked up fights, besides kuchora gari yangu na msumari!
4. Referee nyumbani
If you are looking for a side hustle, look no further as kids can turn you into a referee without even realising it. You would find yourself quelling fights between your children, besides warning them against visiting ile nyumba uligwara gari ya wenyewe.
5. Feed the children
Endless feeding will ensue the moment you leave for work. Your house could be turned into a party venue, with your kids inviting all the children in the estate to have ‘a biting.’
It’s the reason your fridge will be empty throughout the holiday. Jayden will also feed estate cats with the half -kilo of meat meant for supper!
6. In-house DJ
You may tend to think your children are great musicians as they sing Diamond’s Kwangwaru by heart.
But be warned that majirani will complain about the loud music from your house courtesy of the in-house DJs replaying Ed Sheran’s Perfect Love, yet they have no clue about multiplication tables.
7. Endless keshas
Most Fridays, your daughter Carol will go out and come back on Sunday lunch time high like a kite, and she will ruin your entire after-church siesta in cursing as you talk to her in-between breaking into prayers and tears.
8. Mashemeji Derby
You will be in and out of the market and kitchen preparing your in-laws traditional dishes after they pop in unexpectedly and proceed to lounge on couches all day.
To cut on expenses, you will be forced to send your house help to her shags. But alas! She won’t return.
9. Little shenanigans
You will find yourself loading credit on your phone to call shags asking when ‘Miss Mboch’ will be coming back.
Then Mama Nguo will flash persistently, and in panic you call back, only to be told Tom climbed the backyard tree and has refused to shuka chini.
10. Shags mwisho
Some paros will dispense with the above and pack up bags for that trip to shags for the children to visit their relatives and learn to differentiate dogs from goats.
But first, you will have to do a mega shopping to sustain the brood and cucu who doesn’t eat ‘hard’ things owing to falling teeth. This doubles your budget, which includes travelling to shags to pick them again.
