Why women forgive cheating lovers

 To stay or leave with a cheater is one of the hardest decisions one can make

Being cheated on; it happens to the best of us.

Not even fame, tonnes of cash and killer looks can save one from being screwed over by a guy, as we have seen from the many celebrity cheating scandals being exposed every day.

I can’t think of a quicker way to annihilate a relationship than to have sex with someone else for whatever reason. When I was younger, I used to think that dealing with infidelity in a relationship is an open-and-shut case.

If a man decides to betray your trust by having sex with someone else, you walk out on him, simple. It is common sense, or so I thought.

I used to look down on women who stayed on even after being cheated on by their boyfriends. How do you even begin forgiving someone for something like that? I thought they were weaklings and pushovers for deciding stay with cheaters.

What’s worse, I thought that by forgiving the cheaters, they were unwittingly condoning the men’s indiscretions. In my mind, the only acceptable consequence for straying in a relationship was getting dumped. If a woman didn’t dump a man for cheating, then she must have been excusing his behaviour.

But as I grew up, I realised that things are not always that cut and dried. I learnt that adult relationships are much more complicated than that. Unfortunately, feelings don’t have an off and on button. We can’t just turn off our feelings for someone in an instant.

After investing years in a relationship, it may seem stupid to throw it all away because of a one-off cheating incident.  This is why a lot of couples that find themselves in cheating scandals choose to stay in the relationships.  To stay or leave with a cheater is one of the hardest decisions one can make.

What people don’t understand is that there is a big difference between staying with a cheater and forgiving a cheater. Choosing to stay in a relationship after you have been cheated on means you have to forgive your partner.

If you stay in the relationship, you should not throw the cheating in his face every time you have a disagreement or use the cheating as an excuse to monitor his movements and invade his privacy. If you forgive, you have to let go of the past completely.

For the relationship to go back to normal, you must be prepared to move on from the betrayal. If you don’t, you will just end up resenting your partner.

Most people stay in such relationships, but they never move on from the betrayal. It bothers them day and night and they take very opportunity they get to remind their partners that they cheated. Choosing whether to walk or stay with a cheater is a personal decision.

It is your right to walk away if you feel that you can never get over it. However, if you choose to stay, forgiveness is mandatory. Past indiscretions should never be used as ammunition in an argument.

@roxannekenya