Taxi fare: Five things Kenyan women should carry on a date

 Kenyan men have been known to be very scheming

Girls, you know that after landing your first potential guy what follows is a sleepover date at his place, or yours, whichever you prefer.

I’ll suggest going to his place first because some of these sneaky, boxer-wearing creatures have wives in their homes but still go hunting for more kitties out there.

Things could end up being hot and heavy on these dates and next thing you know, your wig is dangling on the bed pole as you hee-haw your way to orgasm like the cowgirl you pretend to be.

That is why it is really crucial to prepare well and equip your bag with these essential items to make the date less awkward for you.

Condoms: These ones should be a girl’s best friend. They stand between you and STIs and baby bump shoots. Kenyan men have been known to be very scheming when you ask them to use condoms, and might slut-shame you for carrying them around.

But always stand your ground, because when a pregnancy scare comes around they will run out of your life so fast, you will be left covered in a cloud of dust. 

So, unless you intend to harvest their seed for your own evil child support plans, I will suggest you carry and use these tiny rubbers.

Emergency birth control pills and PEP should also be readily available just in case the condom suffers tears during sex.

Sexy lingerie: Believe me girls, when it’s time to undress during sex, you don’t want to be caught dead in ugly granny panties.

I dedicated a whole post to this about a month ago to emphasise the seriousness of wearing good underwear. Always.

You should always wear sexy underwear regardless of what you think the outcome of the sleepover date will be.

Remember, men love it when their ladies wear sexy lingerie during sex as it’s a great turn on.

Cab fare: No man is obligated to pay your cab fare just because you had a sleepover at his place, unless you intend to pay their fare too when they visit your place in the good spirit of feminism.

You should not always assume that your date will pay for your transport, although it’s nice when they do.

You might be surprised that the date might not go as well as you had hoped, and you might end up leaving his home in the middle of the night.

In the event of this happening, you should always have money to take care of some of your expenses on your way home.

Again, you’d rather keep the watchman company at night as you wait for daylight to use a bus than sleeping in a house you no longer feel safe in.

Toiletries: You will be lucky if you find a tub of Vaseline in these men’s houses. Most of their skins have forgotten what soap is, let alone body lotion.

You don’t want to go out of his place smelling like a giant samosa because you had to rub cooking oil on your skin to ease the dryness.

You should always carry toiletries like toothpaste, soap and your favourite lotion. You cannot always assume these things would be available. You should go for the toiletries that come in tiny bottles because they can easily fit in your purse without adding a bulky weight.

Makeup and fresh change of clothes: The walk of shame would be much easier when your face is well done and you’re not wearing last night’s party flashy dress. 

This is why you should always carry makeup, preferably lipstick and a nice mascara. Your purse should also have fresh innerwear and clothes to change the next morning.

You know how Kenyans are too gossipy.

You don’t want to be that person who hangs your unique jumpsuit out to dry during the night then some shutter-happy clown snaps a photo of it and spreads it on social media giving away your position.