Differences between debating and arguing as a couple

1. Arguing is to prove who is right; debating is to share your thoughts.

2. In arguing you use sexist words like "You women don't understand"; in debating you ask "What is your man's perspective on this?”

3. You cannot argue and not be angry; you can debate and have a good laugh.

4. Arguing hurts the both of you; debating stimulates both your minds.

5. Arguing drives you both apart; debating pulls you closer by admiring each other's wisdom.

6. Arguing makes you repel each other's presence and you can't stand each other; debating makes you keep coming back for more as you value each other's opinion.

7. In arguing the tone is harsh; in debating the tone is energetic and full of life as you seek solutions or better understanding.

8. Arguing makes you foolish because you are fighting the person you need; debating makes you wiser because you get different perspectives from the one human being who knows you better than any other.

9. Arguing is a childish way of disagreeing; debating is a mature way of disagreeing.

10. While arguing you feel unloved; while debating you feel valued because you can have your individual mind and still feel at home with the one you love.

11. Arguing leads to hitting below the belt, you two insult each other; debating leads you to complement each other with words like "You are wise, I didn't see things that way".

12. Arguing makes you remember the hurtful things said to you; debating makes you remember the lessons your loved one taught you.

13. Arguing is a sign of disrespect; debating is a sign of respect.

14. In arguing you seek to shout and order around; in debating, you seek to hear and be heard and be understood.

Gentlemen, don't silence your woman's voice; ladies, don't raise your voice into shouts and arguments to get your way. Learn to discuss things maturely. Debating is healthy. Both of you have lots to offer and teach the other. Listen to each other.

In my new book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I tell women to stop fighting imaginary battles, to calm down, to stop shouting and speak in a manner to be heard. I remind women the power of controlling emotions and the tongue.

In my other new book, MANHOOD SERIES, I remind men that women need respect too and that her thoughts matter just as his. I demonstrate to men the power of understanding the woman and varied opinions

© Dayan Masinde

 To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.

 To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.