How team mafisi have perfected the modern art of lying

 Photo: Courtesy

It was drilled into us as we grew up that telling the truth and making someone cry was better than telling a lie and making someone smile.

Indeed, when we were young, it was common to use the words “I swear” when one was in a tight corner.

Last week, I had a drink with a friend who takes prides in being a member of the ‘Mafisi Sacco’ (a nebulous entity of men who are obsessed with voyeurism and hitting on beautiful women) and he said that the reason most ‘Bamba 40’ bachelors are becoming extinct is because of being too honest. They tell women the truth when they’re broke, what they can and cannot afford and whether they have children from failed marriages or past relationships.

With the advent of social media, the game has changed. Today’s man sees social media as the best place to advertise himself. He takes pictures with friends’ expensive vehicles, or in beautiful houses, then posts them on Instagram. They operate using one special code, “Get a woman and show her what she wants to see and hear.”

Most of the young girls they target have the reality hitting home when they join college and realize one can’t eat love, but food, which costs real money.

Young campus girls struggling with accommodation and survival are a good catch. Kenya’s Mafisi Sacco members borrow from the West African men who never show their down side. Just put a carrot in front of the donkey. So, they talk big, even borrow to show off and pretend they are well off. For example, a poor west African man will lie to a Kenyan woman that his money is being wired and the woman would fall for that tired lie, feed the freeloader and even let him live in her house!

Some of the tricks they use are cruel, but impressive. For example, they order several expensive drinks in bottles before colluding with waiters to return most of them, or even bring one that is plain water. And by adding Coke, no one suspects — young girls think they’re loaded.

If a corporate woman rants about cars, the dude will simply visit a car bazaar, sweet-talk the manager into test-driving one with the corporate lady on board before starting a long story about the logbook having issues with KRA. By then, he would have hit it!

If a Kenyan woman demands to travel, no problem. Just ask whether she has a passport, if not, bring her application forms, use a broker who will come with a booking number — that way the woman will dream of her quick passport status. Make sure you have a friend who operates a travel agency who will get you printed hotel bookings and e-ticket with the woman’s name, then give her excuses about passport delays as the relationship goes on.

This was not the way we were brought up. Then one couldn’t even use words like ‘I love you’ if you didn’t mean it.

Women, if you want to avoid such traps, get it into your mind that true a relationship is one in which you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets. No lies. Let the man be honest no matter how painful the truth is.

[email protected]

@AineaOjiambo