Why scraggy beard is not a turn on for Kenyan women

Kenyan men are not much to look at on a good day. You would think that would be enough to deter the dimwits among them from twisting the knife by growing a beard as well, but no!

The number of idiots walking around with several days’ worth of stubble on their faces is perturbing. The men have resolved to flaunt their bristly facial hair in what seems to be a misguided attempt at cranking up their masculinity.

They have made the erroneous assumption that a beard will garner them more attention with the fairer sex when in reality, nothing could be further from the truth.

Kenyan men are really off their rocker if they think they can score by waltzing around looking like a bad imitation of Abraham Lincoln.

You are a real sucker if you think that the feral and scruffy look is a lady killer.

It is absolutely revolting! It beats common sense why you would find it sane to add a clamp of scraggy beard on your already hideous face. It takes much more than a healthy level of testosterone to successfully pull off a beard and quite frankly, most of you just don’t have it. You end up looking like a stereotypical marijuana smoker.

There is something eerie about hairy men. I simply cannot trust a man whose face is 70 per cent facial hair. Who knows what dirty secrets you are trying to conceal behind that unkempt look? Speaking of dirty, a beard is a clear indication that you do not make enough trips to the bathroom to realise that you look like a disaster waiting to happen.

It is absurd that even the fair-minded, twenty-something-year-olds, are getting in on this hairy affair. Just cruise through any college and you will spot them all over rubbing their straggly facial hair in pseudo machismo. It is like a cry for help. Nothing says ‘identity crisis’ quite like a stubby chin on a young bloke. I never realised shaving was such a tedious chore. Either that or looking like the resident drug dealer is the in thing.

You do not need a beard to achieve the macho alpha male look. Any woman will cringe at the sight of overly hairy men, unless she has a fetish for beard rash and bad hygiene.

A clean-shaven look is more attractive. Take it from me.

@RoxanneKenya