The brighter side of simping

 A man holding a woman's leg. [iStockphoto]

#simps has been trending in most Kenyan social media platforms especially with the Valentine’s talk all through this week. Kenyans have been associating the hashtag with the famous men’s conference. A joke most Kenyan men crack every time there is a Valentine’s Day. Well, simping is a phenomenon that has taken the internet by storm and caused much debate.

What is simping?

The term simp is short for simpleton. It is an internet slang referring to an individual who places too much emphasis on being overly nice, submissive and attentive towards another person, especially when they don’t reciprocate the same feelings towards them. It is usually in a romantic or sexual context. The word started trending in 2019 on TikTok, Twitch and X which was formerly called Twitter. According to Google Trends, it has been growing in popularity among millennials and Gen Zs.

Valentine’s came and went and people are still talking about the events that occurred on February 14, 2024. Social media was flocked with videos, pictures and trends of love birds showing their love and commitment towards their better half in tremendous ways. For those who missed out, some ladies were gifted or gifted themselves prestigious cars, others were flown out for enjoyment, others got engaged and the common one, most received flowers and cards among other gifts.

To some people, doing these delightful acts to someone who you are wooing is simping. It can be seen as an act of submission or desperation, but it is up to each individual to decide whether simping is something they want to partake in or not. One thing for certain is that when someone does engage in simping behavior, it not only has negative impacts that we all know but also, astonishingly positive outcomes. However, a question that everyone has is how to simp with merit and illustriousness.

Be desirous and longing towards them

In this era of feminism and a lot of masculinity talk, it is important to yearn for your flame even if they don’t share the same energy. This is because they are only one in a million. Everyone is different and unique in their own way. You will like this lady or guy because of their energy and personality but if you give up on them easily in order not to be a simp, there are high chances you will not find a person like them ever again. In this case, by adorning them with love and even gifts, their connection towards you will become stronger and this could stir up a fruitful relationship.

Put your pride and ego aside

Most relationships don’t work because of a lot of ego and self-centeredness. You cannot expect to cultivate a happy-ever-after story with your ego suffocating it by the noose. Sometimes, it's valuable to drop your ego and do nice things to your partner. Such cordial things include; treating your lover to dates, not being ashamed of them, pampering them and even listening to their opinions without being such a critic.

Being a gleeful giver

A quick example is of the trending video on X where a man hired a band of musicians who performed Tanzanian Sensation Ali Kiba’s 'Mapenzi yanarun dunia' for his beloved in a romantic lunch set-up outside Kenya National Archives on Valentine’s Day. Being a romantic, cheerful giver is not necessarily simping. This man spent a lot of money, time and effort to organize his flame such a surprise and It was certainly worth it. The lady was so pleased and such admiration made her feel special and appreciated. This is a foolproof plan and guarantees that they will have a joyous relationship even in the future days. You invest your time, money, attention and emotions and chances are the pros will beat the cons.

Be resilient and firm

Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from tough situations and difficulties in any situation. Surprisingly, some people tend not to act romantically or do amazing things to their partners because of fear of rejection. Sometimes, it is a bad idea to simp only to be rejected, but also, it can be your diamond opportunity engraved in coal. Admiring and wooing your lover with charms and positivity encourages vulnerability. This leads to stronger bonds because it allows both parties to open up about their feelings without fear of judgement.

While it’s natural to want to impress someone you’re interested in, it’s important to recognize that simping has become part and parcel of the triangle of love. It can be shunned but it does have some potential for good if you let it run its course.