10 things our Harambee Stars lack

Don’t tell a Kenyan how soccer is the world’s most popular sport. He won’t get it, thanks to the country’s national team, Harambee Stars, and for which there are calls to change the name. Everything seems not to be working in Kenyan football. The last time we qualified in a continental tourney was during 2004 Africa Cup of Nations held in Tunisia.

As usual, as has been since 1972, Harambee Stars were eliminated in the preliminary stages. Now they are out of the 2015 Cup of Nations in Morocco after being shamed out by minnows Lesotho.

The team has no medical cover among these other 10 things:

1. Mix them, gather them

 Which are the official colours for Harambee Stars? ‘Mara,’ the team is green when the fans are in white or red. Nigeria’s Super Eagles are known for green and white. What’s wrong with us?

2. Coach, show us your back

Some fan once equated the national team to the management of some local football clubs. His argument? The charlatans at the federation are in AFC (Always Firing Coaches!): Gerry Saurer, Reinhard Fabisch, David Lama, Jacob Ghost Mulee, Francis Kimanzi, Twahir Muhidin, James Nandwa, Adel Amrouche... and now we just appointed Bobby Williamson. Can’t we just settle down! Then there is the small matter of not having a consistent team captain since Musa Otieno.

3. Roho juu, team analogue

Kenya ranks among the top tweeting nations in the world, yet Harambee Stars has no official Twitter handle. No Facebook account. No official website. If a journalist wants any info, it is obtained in a manner suggestive of that era when Uhuru’s old man was president!

4. Calendars are for home walls

The world football governing body, Fifa, releases an annual football calendar that federations worldwide use to plan for international fixtures. Kenya is so special, it doesn’t really play with stipulated guidelines. Ask any Harambee Stars player if he knows when the next call up will be.

5. Legends can go to hell

Legendary Joe Kadenge is on record as having expressed his frustrations with Harambee Stars. Mahmoud Abbas is another great Kenyan who feels neglected and not respected enough by the local football fraternity. How come we don’t involve legends Tobias Ocholla or Austin Oduor in the running of the national team?

6. Anything goes, I tell you

All countries that are serious with matters football have signed lucrative deals with top kit manufacturers. So, is our kit from Joma, Adidas, Kelme? Why do we always have new kit ahead of every tournament?

7. Training grounds, my foot

There are times when national team is locked out of training facilities in Kenya. Imagine, the national team! Not once, have we seen ‘sympathisers’ rescuing it after stand offs between stadium managers and Stars handlers. Shame, shame.

8. Money, which money?

Remember the war between players and officials of some African teams over player allowances at the 2014 World Cup? Harambee Stars have gone through worse. That is not to say Sam Nyamweya, the Football Kenya President didn’t do his best, financially, to ensure the Harambee Stars that was pipped by Lesotho did have everything to qualify!

9. Team bus, City Hoppa saidia!

How on ‘Nyasae’s’ wide wild earth does the national soccer team move while in camp...or has anyone spotted a bus branded Harambee Stars?

10. ‘Football made in Kenya’ part of Vision 2030

Kenya is the only country in the world without a striker. Please don’t mention Dennis Oliech, Allan Wanga or Jacob Keli.

When was the last time they scored while on national duty? Kenyan football has neither class nor style. We don’t even have football structures, Jesus Christ. Who knows where the national Under-17 team trains? who are in Kenya’s Under-19/20/21 or 23 soccer squads?