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Values that a father can best teach his children

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 Children learn from what you do, ensure what you are showing them is the best thing (Photo: Courtesy)

Values are what set apart successful people from the unsuccessful ones. And parents are best fit to inculcate them in children.

In most cases mothers are ever present no question but fathers play an equally important role in molding children and instilling key values.

So show them the one’s that matter most to you as their father. And you will have to show them, because your children don’t actually pay much attention to what you tell them.

Instead they watch what you do. So don’t tell them one thing and do another! Your lists could be very long of course, and they will overlap. But here’s a few to get you thinking:

Relationships

A father needs to show his children how good men manage relationships. His daughters, as well as his sons. Because a girl’s relationship with her father has a huge impact on her later life.

It affects her self-confidence, the way she sees her body, and her ability to love, trust and be intimate. As an adult she’ll be attracted to men who treat her like her father treated her mother. Even if that wasn’t very nice. Because we go for what’s familiar, rather than what’s good for us.

Show your children a loving and equal relationship with your wife.

Hug her when the kids are around.

Help with the cooking and cleaning, by looking for what needs to be done and just doing it. So your sons learn to do that. And your daughters learn to expect it from their husbands.

 Men are more likely to teach children how to have a winning spirit (Photo: Courtesy)
How to be a winner

Fathers need to show their sons how to be winners in the world of men. To help them develop the independence, competitiveness, confidence and determination that will make other men respect them. Never underestimate how important that is in your son’s life.

Because men’s lives are much more ruthless than women’s and they can fail far harder. Falling short in their careers, unable to find a wife, even losing their lives: far more men are murdered than women.

Your word is your bond

A father needs to show his children that what he says and what he does both reflect the same set of values. And that he keeps his promises. So when you agree to do something for your children, make sure they can rely on you to do it.

Ambition

You need to show them that you have a clear sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. To let them see you setting yourself challenging and ambitious goals. And sticking to them. Because ambition’s never enough. You also have to persevere if you’re going to succeed.

Teach them the essential skill of risk taking

Men also have to be able to take risks. Because no matter how good you might be in other ways, an assertive, competitive risk taker will always get there first. That does work for women too, of course.

So even though most women say they prefer to centre their lives around support, connections, and intimacy, they also need to be comfortable taking risks if they want to succeed in the work environment. And so a good father will show his daughters how they can be just as good at taking risks as their brothers.

The everyday practical skills

Show them your everyday practical skills. How to eat in a restaurant. How to make small talk. How to handle money. How to drive better than is needed just to pass the driving test.

Teach them self defence and negotiation skills. How to hammer nails, chop wood, check an oil level and change a tyre. And some real IT skills, like coding a website, or building an app.

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