Strange generosity: Kenyans who only buy friends beer not food

There is a strange breed of Kenyans who happen to be spendthrifts and overly generous only in pubs. They become stingy once they step out. They generously ‘throw rounds’ of alcohol not just to friends but strangers, too. However, they can’t buy the same people a cheap meal of, say Sh200, once they are out of the watering hole.

It excites them to see friends in a drunken stupor, mumble gibberish, hurl insults, crawl on their knees out of drunkenness or better yet, ‘blackout’. But when same friends run to them, requesting for financial assistance when landlords or other basic necessities come calling, such people always come up with excuses not to help.

Generosity is a virtue we all lay claim to. Unfortunately, for such types, theirs is exclusively exhibited in social places. Not that its bad for one to spoil his buddies at the bar once in a while. It’s unfortunate that we have these strange Kenyans whose generosity doesn’t stretch to even a step away from the door of the drinking hole. These type of men will hardly care to set a ceiling on the budget for booze they buy friends, but squeezing a cup of coffee from them is such a Herculean task.

In the workplace, the type are known to take ages before agreeing to contribute to colleagues welfare kitty. They fork out a measly amount but not after dilly-dallying.

Itch to buy strangers beer

Justus, a banker in Nairobi, is yet to understand the spending habit of one of his long-time colleagues. He wonders, “My friend truly amazes me. He just won’t bail you out of any problem, no matter how much you plead, but is ready to buy acquaintances and strangers alcohol”.

He adds that whenever the colleague in question walks into a drinking hole, just after a few bottles, he is always itching to buy those he shares the table with. “In fact, at a local pub where we always spend time together, patrons know him for his generosity,” Justus remembers with a chuckle.

Yet another victim of this weird generosity is a city marketeer, Joel. He says, he had to fall out with such a friend after he discovered the strange nature of the friendship.

“I felt like I was being a ‘used’ only as ‘great company’ for drinks.  Imagine he will drive to my apartment, pick me up and take me out for drinks, even when I protested that I was not in the mood for beer,” narrates Joel, adding: “This buddy was amazing. He would fund all my activities within the entertainment spot. I recall him hiring me call girls and lodging fee a couple of times when I was very broke”.

selective kindness

Joel says he got fed up with his monied friend’s “selective kindness’ and ended their friendship after he had refused to give him financial assistance on several occasions.

“Our friendship took a turning point after I discovered how tight-fisted he was. All he needed was company for his alcohol escapades. I could not understand why he always found it very difficult to lend me little money, which I was to pay back anyway, yet he could spend rather profligately on beer. He always came up with an excuse to turn down my requests,” says Joel.

Jane Kaburu, a mobile phone accessories dealer in Nairobi’s Donholm area, says her relationship with her boyfriend hit rock bottom because of one such man her boyfriend had. The friend would insist on tagging him along when going for bar-hopping and other alcohol-related escapades.

Hear her: “My guy had lost his job, but instead of looking for another, all he did was hover all over bars and entertainment spots with the wrong company. He always hang out with friends who happen to be corporate types, businessmen and many others with means. They always bought him beer, and indulged him in other fun activities”.

tight-fisted corperate types

She adds: “But despite the financial muscles some of them had, these tight-fisted corporate types could not lend him soft loans I advised him to request from them from them to start a business. Even with their connections, they could not get him a job. What sort of friends are those? I had to dump him after he refused to cut links with them.” 

Jane concludes, agonising to this writer about how her jobless boyfriends’ drinking buddies would drop him home, only to call the following day, joking about their previous nights drinking spree. 

Maxwell, a teacher at a city school, remembers how he quit the company of his friend who he says used to spend like there is no tomorrow on alcohol, entertaining friends and strangers in night clubs.

drinking buddy

“So long as you praised him like a King, you were sure your glass will be brim-full till you can’t take more; he was always flush with cash. But one day I visited his home and to be honest I was disturbed to see how unhappy the family of the ‘bar king’ was. His wife’s face cut ‘I-go-through-hell-in-this-house’ mien while the kids appeared bereft of basic necessities,” says Maxwell.

He goes on to say: “It dawned on me that while blowing away the man’s money in bars we were blowing away the future of his young family. I soon found out that drinking buddy hardly ever left a coin at home, yet he was an unrivalled spendthrift in the joints we frequented. I had to quit alcohol out of guilt,” the teachers ruefully recalls.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is awake up call. Watch out for those do-gooders who offer you unsolicited invites to brew-flowing outings, one after the other one.

Their partners or families could be going through hell.