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Single women crisis: Why it's hard for successful ladies to find husbands


It is official, there is a single woman pandemic in Kenya! This fact became very clear to me over the weekend courtesy of all the Valentine’s Day singles’ activations that were taking place all over Nairobi. I noticed all had emphasis on single women. And it was not just the clubs that were hitching this bandwagon, churches too were not left behind; they too were doing one thing or the other for single women.

There is an influx of women in their 30s who happen to be self-accomplished, holding top position in their jobs, driving the latest cars in town and live in some of the finest addresses but are single.

If you watch television, Hollywood is in the habit of sending the message that if a woman is very successful, she is doomed to be single or to spend her life dating someone’s husband. Shows such as Scandal or Being Mary Jane are good examples here.

Basically, the message being drummed into our minds is that men cannot handle accomplished women. And interesting enough, women seem to be believing this. So much that some chose not to work so hard lest they repel potential suitors. Imagine!

I tend to believe we women have ourselves to blame for this sad state of affairs. Because, honestly, which man in his right mind would not want a successful woman? Which man grows up saying, “I want a wife who has no ambition. One who makes no money, and has to depend on my money?”


The reason that there are so many single, independent and successful women out there I have come to find, can be broken down into one thing: carrying dating philosophies from the past and trying to make them work in 2015.

Financially stable

When we were young girls, we were taught that men are the bread winners, the ones who are supposed to be financially stable and successful. Thus, even though the world has changed and women have become more aggressive and successful in the work force, we are still out there looking for men who are either at our level or even more successful.

As a result, I have seen countless women reduce their dating pool by refusing to entertain men with lower levels of education, live in less desirable places, or even those who don’t drive.

Girls, this is 2015 not 1980; wake up, smell the coffee and make hay while the sun shines.

It is argued that we cannot have our cake and eat it. Claiming to be independent and still expect somebody to take care of you is preposterous.

What I am trying to say in many words is that women should accept that in this day and age we are the new bread winners!

The work place has changed with more women in top or managerial positions or running successful businesses, so why should the family unit be exempt from change?

Ladies, get off your high horse and give Mr nobody a chance! Let’s start there.

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