Why do women read too much into what men say?

      Woman talking with collegues in the office   Photo:footage.shutterstock.com

Movies are my guilty pleasure. When I am not doing anything else, I am stuck on Megashare or Glowgaze, sifting through the sea of movies and TV shows for one more watch.

Watching a movie with someone is even better, especially when it is with the boys, and the film is set in medieval England or Rome. Anything with blood sword and gore.

You call in a bunch of dudes to your room, turn up those Sayona speakers, dim down the lights, pour each other that one bottle of cheap whisky you all contributed to buy, and then just kick it. Perfect pass time for a lazy weekend.

Break monotony

I pushed the envelope the other day. I asked a lady to join me, I figured I had breathed enough of testosterone to last me a lifetime. A change is as good as a rest, so why not break the monotony with the pleasure of somebody who did not have family jewels.

It was an honest invitation, really but I was in for a rude awakening. She said no.

Not that she is not a fan of movies, in fact, she is one of the few who we exchange notes with when the next TV Show comes up. She is mean, the kind that would tell you who is going to die next in Game of Thrones. If you do not know Game of Thrones, then you might as well not know when Christmas is.

It turns out, “Shall we watch a movie tonight, my place?” is code name for “Shall we have sex tonight if you do not mind?”

I was taken aback. All I wanted was to watch a movie for Chrissakes. Not to exchange tales of the birds and bees. If I wanted that, all I had to do is ask. And I know, I have to at least buy her dinner first. To be honest, I felt a bit offended, being categorised with dudes with no game like that.

Dudes who use movies to lower the coveted flags. I mean, who does that? Who defiles the noble art of movie watching by using it as Adam’s ale for satiating their thirst for debauchery? Now it has given a completely new meaning to “Going to the movies” phrase.

Cricified

OK, fine, when you think of it, movies have always been used to score brownie points. But at least there has been pop corns and soothing words; you know, chivalry and all that jazz.

What I suggested was an epic movie, the one in which people are beheaded and heads put on a pike. Where girls are crucified, used and discarded like tepid craped tissue. What could be possibly sexually leading in such a movie? Maybe I am old fashioned. Maybe girls are turned on by the sight of headless men on a pike these days. I must be stuck in the dark ages.