Woman clobbers husband for seeking her permission to marry second wife

Patrons of Kahawa Tungu were left in stitches after news wafted in that their friend’s attempts at seeking his wife’s permission to marry a second wife earned him beatings, instead.

Chulu is a big baby who had gained notoriety for not showing interest in women. The man had refused to marry despite his advanced age, and instead he had been sampling the good things life has to offer. A friend of his, some time back, suggested they take a trip to Lamu to enjoy what life there has to offer.

They set off on their journey, and came back after a while, boasting about the great time they had in Lamu.

“We rode on asses, sailed in dhows, tasted the famed biryani ya samaki but the show-stopper was the Lamu women,” he declared to his friends.

He assured everyone at Kahawa Tungu that nowhere on planet earth had women perfected the art of taking care of men than on Lamu island.

And to drive his point home, he boasted about his new catch, who was in his “custody”. “I even came back with one. She is at my house as we speak. Her name is Amina,” he boasted.

At last, our stud had seen the light and was about to marry, I mused. Indeed, Chulu had a woman at his house. She was a petite. How he ended up with her surprised most of his buddies because he is not known to get attracted to such women.

Polishing nails

However as they say, wonders will never cease. Chulu exhibited devotion to Amina, a woman who, interestingly, spends the better part of her day polishing nails. With time, she became tough on him, so much so that whenever he got home late, he had a lot of explaining to do before he was let in.

Friends began complaining that they were not seeing Chulu regularly, since he “put the woman in his house”. And that’s when they hatched a plot to save him from the clutches of his new wife – Amina.

“We are going to set him up with the most beautiful damsel from Mombasa as a second wife to keep Amina in check. This will help him at least breathe free,” one of his friends suggested.

Ashina was the woman given the mandate to redeem Chulu. She took up her responsibility with a lot of gusto. She was introduced to Chulu whom she befriended and promised him her undying love, as long as he accepts her as his wife.

“What you see is what you get,” she reportedly whispered to him, brushing her lips in his ear lobes.

The electrified Chulu promised that he was going to negotiate with Amina to have him get another wife. He headed home hoping to convince his Lamu woman.

Neighbours reported that a fierce fight ensued when the man got home but there was no telling who was on the receiving end of it all until the following day when Chulu was seen with a large bandage tied round his head.

He looked as though he had been run over by a train. The same evening, Chulu appeared at Kahawa Tungu and pleaded with everyone to kindly desist from trying to save him from the wildcat he was rearing at home lest he gets killed. “Just do not send any more Ashinas to cause trouble for me,” he pleaded.

Everyone obliged and from then onwards, Amina, the pocket-sized lady from Lamu, earned our respect, and Chulu has become the laughing stock of Kahawa Tungu. As they say in Lamu, Kidonge kidogo ladha tele.