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Riggy G steals the show and hearts at wedding

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It’s not often that the mountain region gives us a social event worth writing about. But last weekend, the people of Murang’a and Nyeri did so as the Murang’a Woman Representative wedded Mathira MP in a star-studded event that easily qualifies as the wedding of the year.

The good book says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing. But generally, he who finds a wife from Murang’a gets a wife material. It’s for this reason that when big shots of this Jamhuri want to settle down, they drive to the curvaceous hills of Murang’a, scout for a homely girl, take some goats and brew to his father’s clan and live happily thereafter. Well, our girls may not be as curvaceous as our countryside but when it comes to wife material qualities, they take the mantle.

The good son of Jomo, Baba Ngina himself is among the Kenyan men who were smitten by a Murang’a girl. Back in the day, the Kenyatta family took some live goats to Kangema in a rucacio event that is still mentioned by the older generation with reverence. My uncle, who was a dashing mubaba then, swears that he has never tasted better muratina.

Back to last Saturday’s wedding, Riggy G. easily carried the day. He came out looking regal, like the Kikuyu elder he is. Dressing sharply comes with its risks –sometimes good ones. All the ladies present wanted to have a dance with Riggy G. He ended up dancing with several honourable daughters of Mumbi and finally busted the myth that sons of Mumbi can’t dance. In fact he danced with more beautiful women in a single day than all the women some hustlers have danced with all their lifetime – but si ni life?

Lastly, he was pictured holding a horn which many assumed was full of muratina –the amber-coloured traditional beer of the House of Mumbi. Hustlers were quick to comment that finally, illicit brews have been legalised but that remains to be seen.

Baba Charlene was in the house too looking dapper in a wide-brimmed black Stetson. But no one tried to serve him a hornful of muratina – our elders aren’t that daft. Missing in action was Baba, who would have, as usual, turned up late and caused a stir with his typical razzmatazz. Babu Owino represented him ably though, and cheekily commented that he is a son-in-law of Murang’a people and thus had to postpone maandamano to be with them. There were guests from some other communities who may be expected lots of badly cooked cabbages floating in a lake of soup to be served. But going by the way they licked their fingers, it was evident that the food was either top cuisine or guys enjoy badly cooked cabbages floating in soup but hate on them for nothing.

The event, however, had a social conundrum. Riggy G. was at some point seen receiving a kiondo from the bride – a role that cultural pundits swear is reserved for women. But no one tells the truthful man what to do.

We the people of the county of a thousand hills and thousand wife materials take this early opportunity to wish the newly wedded couple nothing but bliss.

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