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Teacher busted romping grocer

Crazy Monday

A married teacher in Siaya County broke his leg after he fell in a trench as he fled from a mob that caught him romping a grocer.

The teacher had scampered for safety after neighbors disbanded an amorous congress between him and a grocer in a building under construction last Saturday night.

“On Thursday, the owner of the unfinished building, who lives next to it, had discovered some of his building material missing. Since then, he had become vigilant. So when he heard noises come from the building, he woke up and made phone calls to neighbors to help him catch the thieves,” said a neighbor.

One of the neighbor received a phone call from the building owner: “Wuon Otis, bi uru ukonya mako jokuoge gi. Gintiere e oda ma agero ei town kae ni, nyocha gisekwalo Simiti GI musumal kendo sani gidwachak gimaya yawa. (Father to Otis, kindly come and help me nub thieves. They recently stole my cement, nails and other construction materials and are at it, again).”

 When the neighbors stepped out of their houses to nab the ‘thieves’, they tiptoed to the building, and much to their surprise, were greeted with a totally different case. The noises were different from those of thieves stealing construction material. What they heard was noise akin to loud murmurs from two lovers’ rabidly exchanging saliva as they had a good time.

“Jatelo Magi koko mag ng’at ma winjo mit gimoro ok jakwuo yawa, kwani in ikia pogo ywag jok ma timo timbegi. (This is not sound from people stealing, these are sounds of people making love and kissing. It’s different from that of people stealing, can’t you tell the difference)?” asked one curious neighbor.

To the surprise of neighbors baying for the ‘thieves’’ blood, the man in the act, sensing danger, loudly identified himself as “jirani (neighbor)” who had lacked an appropriate venue, and had decided to use the ‘facility’ to host an amorous congress. The incensed owner of the building became very impatient with them. He demanded that they come out, and explain why they had turned his ‘house’ into a lodging without his consent. The man did not wait for them to storm in; he bolted, leaving his shirt, trouser and helpless partner in crime behind.

And considering he was nude, no one was willing to catch him, save for hurling crude weapons at him, which missed him anyway, as he disappeared into darkness.

Much later, it was discovered that the teacher, as he fled, had fallen in a ditch and broke his leg. The villagers rushed him to a nearby dispensary where he is still recuperating. The woman was identified as mama mboga (grocer) at a nearby soko mjinga (open market). When her husband heard about the incident, he disowned her and is allegedly planning to divorce her.

At the hospital, upon learning the circumstances that led to her husband breaking his leg, the teacher’s wife fainted. The fate of two marriages now hang in the balance.

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