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By | May 20th 2011 at 00:00:00 GMT +0300

Oops, Yoweri Museveni has gone and done it. Again! If the Uganda president keeps pushing his foot into the mouth right infront of media camera, one is bound to bite. This media darling is like a pet lion cub, all furry, playful and cuddly.

 Now having grown older, the cub realises he has been toying with his ‘food’ and attacks! Museveni just sprang at his former owner and branded him (al-Jazeera, BBC, NTV, The Daily Monitor) "enemies" defiling his country by getting into bed with battered, bandaged and half-blinded Kizza Besigye. Palaver is vindicated for rightly predicting that the Arab revolution will ride the MV Tahrir Square up the Nile. Prove me wrong if you can.

Why is Catholic Church Cardinal Keith O’Brien getting all worked up in good old Scotland? He accuses the British monarchy of conspiracy to commit religious bigotry through the Act of Settlement. The 310-year-old laws ban Catholics becoming king or queen of Britain or marrying the heir to the throne. Now, why not do it the Kenyan way.

How about you convert to the Anglican Church and even become an elder. Many of our politicians have ‘converted’ from Christianity to Islam and all shades in between as they sought to clamber up the ladder to State House. And it might work.

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Tanzanian President Jakaya Kikwete should not suffer any fools like his short-sighted police officers and Tanzania Revenue Authority staff. You see, Wanna TZ woke up one morning to find an endless fountain of health gushing from Samunge village near Arusha. And, retired Pastor Ambilikile Mwasapile did not ask for cash from the Economic Stimulus Programme and sells his healing antidote at a paltry Sh25. So, why are border cops and revenue authority folks harassing and extorting bribes to allow Kenyans bring in inflation-battered, hard currency? Get a life.

And finally...

And still on matters of Heads of State, perhaps Cardinal O’Brien can telephone Guatemalan President Alvaro Colom and his wife Sandra Torres who went to court and came out armed with a certified divorce. Now Sandra can stand for election as Alvaro’s successor, after cleverly skirting a constitutional ban on relatives of the prezzo running for the top job. Brilliant, don’t you think?

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