Gentlemen, what is in a dress?

By Tony Masikonde

A couple of weeks ago, a study was released that showed that most Kenyan men prefer women in dresses and skirts

The Ipsos Synovate study indicated 59 in every 100 men would like to see women wear dresses or skirts, as opposed to trousers.

Only 16 per cent of the men prefer to have women wear trousers. But a quarter of all the men sampled in the study said they did not care what women wore — trousers or skirts.

This study has gone on to perpetuate much talked about stereotypes when it comes to the physique of Kenyan women.

It is an open secret that women from certain areas of Kenya are more endowed in the legs department. While in western Kenya, virtually all women have the appropriate-looking legs, some sisters from certain parts of the country that shall remain unnamed for the sake of national cohesion are no better than camera tripods.

Dangerous

One of Frao’s best pals, Felista, was up in arms, describing the study results as sham. As you would expect, we have known Felista for seven years, partying and watching football (she is an absolute Arsenal fan), but none of us has ever seen her legs.

Well… let me rephrase that, she does not have a single dress; she is always in trousers.

When the results were announced, I asked her out for a drink.

“So, Felista, don’t you think perhaps you are heading towards your mid-30s and you are still single because you are not allowing men to see your legs?” I knew I was treading on very dangerous ground.

“Are men looking for brilliant women to share their lives with or are they looking for legs? In any case, who says women should be viewed like some sort of heifers or goats in an auction?” she spat.

Hoping to make a point, I said, “You know, they say if you cannot beat them, join them…”

She did not let me finish: “This is precisely the problem with the so-called modern man. You all have such defeatist attitudes. Why can’t you hold your ground and get what you want? Why must you always flow with the current, even when you do not know where it is flowing to?”

“It is better to be flowing towards somewhere than paddling in stagnant water, waiting for goodness knows what,” Frao piped in.

Felista leaned forward and whispered, “Who tells you that I cannot take you to bed tonight if I so wished?”

Frao was so startled by the daring approach that he was rendered speechless, before stammering, “Occasionally, men like seeing some meat…”

“Do not include all men in the world in your chauvinist cave. In any case, if I were some meat to be scrutinised and examined, I would be hung up there in the butchery like that carcass,” she snapped, pointing in the direction of the butchery.

“Let’s do some nyama choma,” I offered to ease the tension.

“Sure, and go for the goat’s legs” she said sarcastically.