Avoid these men like the plague

By Shirley Genga

Experience is a good thing. I have kissed so many frogs that these days, I sniff out losers from a mile off.

Some men are simply un-datable because all they bring to a woman’s life is heartache, pain and immense suffering. These men come in all shapes and sizes and should be avoided at all costs.

When I was young and naïve, I believed that Mr “I’m so hot and in love with myself” was the perfect match for me because we would have beautiful babies.

Soap operas

He was tall, dark, handsome and utterly in love with himself. I guess I had watched too many soap operas and I believed love was all about physical beauty. Even when most of our conversations were spent discussing how awesome he was and nothing about me, I held on tightly.

My breaking point, however, came when I realised I had to fight to use the mirror each morning I woke up in his house because Mr-god’s-gift-to-women loved to stare at himself in the mirror and bask in his own glory. I learnt one important lesson then: That there can only be room for one pretty person in a relationship, and that was me.

In my happily ever after phase, I believed that my love could conquer anything. So I gave a cheating man a second  chance — and he cheated on me three more times. I learnt another valuable lesson:  A zebra never changes its stripes.

   

Too busy

While in my delusional stage, I dated a young and successful man who was ‘too busy and important’ to call me unless he needed something from me — which wasn’t often.

For a while, I was spellbound by his confidence and success, but in the end the hard facts became clear: A man will spend his time on what he deems to be worthwhile. So if he couldn’t find time to call, then he was not that into me.

And don’t get me started on “Mr I am too complicated to be understood”. It is hard enough trying to understand the common man, so understanding this man will only bring migraines and ulcers. A complicated man may seem mysterious and romantic in a novel, but in the real world, a common and simple man is your best bet, because at least you can try and understand him. 

 My worst experience, though, was dating a cheap man who was not willing to spend a dime on me. In his thinking, he believed that I also worked and so he had no business spending his money on me.

For a while, I excused his behaviour because he would hide behind excuses that involved saving up for a car, to going back to school, to refurbishing his house. Naïve me paid the bills.

But over time, I have come to learn that show me where a man spends his money and there you will find what he loves. So if he won’t spend on you, he doesn’t care enough.