How about letting the sleeping women lie?

By TONY MASIKONDE

Last week, as we watched Liverpool surprisingly stew their long-term bitter rivals — Manchester United, in a top of the table Barclays Premier League clash — at a certain members’ club — we met Annabel. Annabel, I suspected, is light years ahead of our very own he-goat — Frao.

She revealed to us that she has been with her new boyfriend for five months now. A guy, in her words, she hopes is finally the one. However, her history is horrendous.

“He told me a few months ago that he has strong values and wants to wait for marriage to have sex. I was a little disappointed, but I respect his beliefs. We are very open with each other, and I have never lied to him about anything until he asked me how many people I have slept with”, she started.

Acquaintance

At this juncture, I was looking at this beautiful woman and I feared the worst.

“I said three, but the real number is around 40,” said Annabel.  I choked on my Jameson!

“Are those acquaintances or men you…” Mark was not brave enough to finish the question. “Yes, these are the men I have slept with since my college days,” she said. Frao looked at me, I tried to avoid his stare, attempted to steal a glance from her hoping to see an iota of lies or anything to suggest she was merely pulling our legs, having downed six bottles of beer. There was no sign. Afraid that we could lock eyes and she could read my utter shock, I looked away hoping that someone at the table would quickly recover from the shock, and find something to fill the pregnant silence that now engulfed the table.

Promiscuity

Thankfully, she continued.

“I’ve never been so sure about someone in my life, until I met him. In fact, I wish to put my promiscuity in the past, but I fear he may look at me differently, due to his strong values. That is why I wonder if it is necessary for me to tell him the real number of men I have had sex with. Or is this a lie that can remain a secret?”

Frao spoke first.  “I believe it’s no one else’s business to know how many people you’ve had sex with in the past …”

“Annabel, don’t allow yourself or your actions to be judged by another person. We make decisions everyday, and we learn from the results of those decisions and move on to the next decision,” said Frao. 

Frao continued to tell her that there is absolutely no reason to regret any decision she ever made as long as she learned something from the experiences that followed.

“We grow with each experience, each choice, and each relationship. Some philosophers say that’s what life is really about — experiencing life so that we can discover who we truly want to be,” Frao argued.

By this time, I was staring at Frao, wondering whether he had become a shrink or one of those dubious televangelists that you have to bonyeza and send them money via mpesa before they pray for you.

“It is true. We sometimes have to experience who we don’t want to be so that we can discover the person we want to become,” added Mark rather philosophically.

“The bottom line,” Mike having found his strength after Frao’s inspirational ‘sermon’  mumbled, “is if you can truly forgive yourself and let go of any guilt you carry around regarding your past sexual activity.  Then I say let sleeping dogs lie.”