Beneath the veneer of a ‘softie’ lies the steel

By Jeeh Wanjurah

Someone either gave the retired major a real scare or perhaps he is such a consummate actor that he knew how to perfectly play the part of someone who had been genuinely threatened.

Or maybe he was just being a lily-livered cry-baby who wilted at a mere wagging of a finger or a growl in the men’s toilet from a pro-William Ruto bully. But when Dr Simiyu Eseli stood to explain why the Agriculture Minister is bad news for the stomachs of Kenyans, the Kimilili MP genuinely looked shaken.

"I stand here to support this Motion because of the threats I have received," the soldier who is also a medic revealed to a hushed House.

His tone was sombre, his face darkly and ruggedly livid. Strangers to his amber-coloured eyes looking watery behind the glasses would have been forgiven for imagining it had taken Bonny Khalwale or even Martha Karua’s spirited moments of "Baas, baas toto, don’t cry. Please don’t soil your clothes with tears. We will report him to the Speaker and you will see what will be done to whoever has caused our dear Simiyu to cry" to sooth Eseli out of his panicky deluge.

The MP did not reveal the source of the threats. But from the plethora and manner of Points of Order raised during the censure Motion against the minister, smart money would be on a burly MP who reportedly grew his muscles around logs. Eseli seemed to give hints just where the scaremonger was seated with his rapid glances behind his back, especially to his right.

So visibly shaken was he that in his typical waggishness, Security Assistant Minister Orwa Ojode, standing on a Point of Order, wondered if indeed Deputy Speaker Farah Maalim had heard Eseli’s chilling confession. His refrain of "Mr Speaker, did you hear that?" had the ring of a challenge or call to action to the chair.

Perhaps of more immediate concern should have been if indeed Eseli was in the right frame of mind to contribute meaningfully. Even in law, the courts forbid statements made under duress or undue coercion. What the MP was essentially saying was that he could not claim to have been thinking "without fear or favour."

He looked disturbed and full of anxieties and although he did his best to force calm on his voice, it betrayed a racing heart.

Maalim attempted to calm Eseli by reassuring him of the Chair’s desire to protect him. After all, the MP claimed the threats were issued within Parliament precincts.

But especially coming after a direct prompt in what is sadly becoming a trend for the Deputy Speaker, the assurance had the palliative effect of hanging a rosary on the door in a burglar-prone zone.More persuasive

To his credit, and notwithstanding the threats, Eseli still managed reasoned contribution. In fact, he sounded more reasonable and persuasive than Khalwale, the Motion mover. Both are doctors but while you imagine the Ikolomani MP would try to humour a terminally ill patient by offering to buy his winning fighter bull because a dead man has no use for it anyway, his speech was like a pronunciation of a fatal prognosis.

The content was chillingly brutal and delivered with the candour that suggested panicking or taking the information personally was foolish because the disease would surely outlive the patient.

All the symptoms were manifest. All biopsies revealed malignancy. The patient, being so terminally ill with power, should only have so many days to live in office according to the therapy of responsible management.

Alleged gross incompetence and suspected complicity in the sale of strategic maize reserves now occasioning massive hunger countrywide made Ruto, with a visibly expanding waistline, a walking corpse morally.

He needed to be buried before the magnitude of administrative decomposition in the ministry demanded a post-mortem DNA.

And that might have been another of Khalwale’s goof.

Although it was clever of him to think of bringing photos of a smiling Ruto and a famished woman to magnify his claim of the minister profiteering from food for the hungry, the face was the wrong place to focus.

Food is all about the stomach. His attempt at stoking incriminating pathos would have benefited more had he brought shots of the minister’s nascent tummy bulge.

Eseli needed to be a tough nut to have wasted Mukhisa Kituyi in the polls.

But it is tempting to imagine a constituency that gets fed up with the cerebral snobbery of the former Trade Minister would have opted for his antithesis: a Massoud Mwahima or even a Kalembe Ndile who got mind and body deeply wired to the ordinary folk. Yet, surprisingly, they substituted him for a fairly eloquent character without the airs of genius who considers himself surrounded by nincompoops. It is the apparent gentility that perhaps makes him a sitting duck for those seeking someone to bully.

Perhaps because the soldier days were hard on him physically, he looks lean like someone who has been experiencing maize shortage for years.

He walks with the stoop of a weakling and talks with the softness of a Catholic priest rather than a fighter. But as he has routinely demonstrated, beneath the veneer of a ‘softie’ lies the toughness of steel.

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