Why women flocked to hear the marriage pastor

Last year, he promised that after he was done, it would 'rain men'. This year, he promises that it is 'your set time for marriage'. Pastor CHRIS OJIGBANI came to Kenya armed with the 'right knowledge' for singles and married alike, but the crowd was not as expected. NJOKI CHEGE was there.There are many speculations as to why Pastor Chris Ojigbani attracts women like moths to a flame. The media has, for one, over-emphasised the fact that most followers of Pastor Ojigbani are hopeless single women, whose futile efforts to look for a husband have finally led them to the pastor.Some of the women who attended Pastor Chris Ojigbani’s ‘Your set time for marriage’ seminar at Nyayo stadium last weekend. [Photos: Jennifer Wachie/standard]His pre-arrival advertisements were something else… all testimonies of women, once hopelessly single, now happily married, thanks to Ojigbani who prayed for them to get husbands pap!Therefore, the media and the rest of the public were not wrong to assume that his was a following of desperate women, all searching for husbands; or even unhappily married women seeking marriage counsel.At Nyayo Stadium, however, it was a different script alltogether. It was the uptown, fashionable, well-educated, well-heeled women and girls — some with accents and huge sunglasses — who streamed in to see Ojigbani. There were a few men too. Even a popular secular female musician graced the occasion. The women didn’t look desperate or needy for men as was the common perception, neither did they look hungry and emaciated from days of franctic prayer and fasting for a man.They came in cliques of three or more, chatting and chuckling animatedly, some tweeting or updating their Facebook status on their smart phones.The older ones came with their bosom buddies, engaging in hushed conversations, with Bibles tightly clutched in their hands.Some even came with their boyfriends, fiancÈs, husbands and potential partners; others with toddlers and teenage children. It could almost be mistaken for a family gathering.seeking blessingsThey looked every bit the urban, empowered women, unafraid of the preying cameras and inquisitive journalists like me. They were ready to answer our questions and tell us their names; though some were a bit jittery when it came to taking their photos.Granted, these women were here looking for something that only this pastor, who had come all the way from Nigeria, could give.A young woman seated next to me, armed with a Bible, a book by Ojigbani and a pen, could hardly wait to hear from the pastor. Although she insisted on concealing her identity, her intentions were not concealed. "I am getting married to a mzungu this December. I think it is part of God’s plan for our successful marriage that Pastor Ojigbani is here just before I get married so that he can bless my marriage," she said.She told us that her fiancÈ was on a business trip to a neighbouring country and she had refused to accompany him because she did not want to miss the pastor’s pre-marital ‘blessing’. She didn’t look desperate or needy. After the seminar, I met two women — Audrey Wekesa and Joyce Ligaga — who had accompanied each other to the session. Both confirmed that they were happily married to good men — Audrey for 13 years and Joyce for 14 years. They were not afraid of sharing their insights on Ojigbani.According to Audrey, the pastor was a source of wisdom and knowledge on marriage matters."I came here to experience wisdom on marriage according to Pastor Ojigbani. I have learnt that marriage is a lifetime commitment and while you are in it, you should pray for wisdom from God and do your part to make it work," Audrey said.Joyce believed that with the right marriage counsel from authorities such as Pastor Ojigbani, ailing marriages can actually work and people enjoy marriage."Many of us are married but we are in the dark. We expect so much from our partners, yet we are the ones who are supposed to give that ‘much’. I have learnt that we should not just pray without taking initiative to make our marriages work," said Joyce, directly quoting what the pastor had said an hour before.There were a few men, too, who upon seeing our cameras, pretended to tie a shoelace or turned their heads in the opposite direction. It was understandable. Adherents of Ojigbani were largely women. It would raise eyebrows for a man to be seen there. Besides, weren’t they the ‘prayer requests’ that brought the women there?I managed to talk to two men, Evans and Canis, who had attended the seminar. lessonsThey are both single and doing well in their careers. They didn’t look like men who would have trouble landing women. They were both smartly dressed in fitting shirts, trendy jeans and classy shoes to match. They both adorned gold jewellery and designer cologne. "I have never been married, but hope to get married one day. I came here for knowledge about relationships and marriage," said one who identified himself as Evans.He had been following Ojigbani closely, he revealed. He read his books and watched him on television. Although he had certain reservations concerning particular doctrines preached by the pastor, Evans said he found Ojigbani’s advice insightful and workable.Evans pointed out that he had learnt that nobody was perfect: "I have learnt that God did not make anyone in particular for me, therefore, I have to shape my relationship and marriage."The pastor had stressed that God is not responsible for finding anyone their spouse. It was a personal duty and right to go out and find that ‘one’.Evan’s friend said that he was not there to ‘hunt’ for a ‘wife’, but simply to gather a word or two from the self-acclaimed ‘marriage pastor’.Canis indulged me: "I have learnt not to wait for ‘the one’ woman God made specifically for me because I will be lying to myself. It is up to me to go and find her and then make our relationship work."Canis remarked that while a wedding was the easy part, marriage was where the rubber met the road. To succeed in it, one had to put his/her best foot forward, including heeding Ojigbani’s advice.

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