Mum’s odd way of getting family together

By Mami Kamami

We sat outside my mother’s house, all preparing for the day. I was pacing around trying to make Kamami eat her breakfast without messing her clothes and my husband Patty was seated on the doorstep polishing his shoes.

My older sister Doreen and her husband Jamoh were seated on the slab of the old aluminium tank that had always stood beside our house, trying to get rid of their hangover with breakfast. They had stayed out late. Big brother Andrew was cleaning his car while his wife hovered over him like she was afraid of being alone around the rest of us. Stacey was still in the shower, and mum was entertaining her boyfriend –– the watchie –– in the kitchen.

"I couldn’t believe he had the guts to sleep over while the entire family is around," I whispered to Patty.

"I suppose he wanted to meet his new family," he snickered back.

"He just wants to stamp his presence," Doreen whispered out loud. She still hadn’t gotten over her indignation at mum’s newfound love. She couldn’t hide her revulsion at the young man now in the kitchen taking bread and omelettes while mum smothered him. We had to prevail over Doreen to attend mum’s thanksgiving service at her church. It was her big day and she had requested everyone to come –– the reason we were all here.

Big entry to church

"Are you done?" Mum called out from the kitchen window.

"You will be late for church."

"Stacey, get out of the bathroom!" Doreen screamed at my younger sister.

"I will proceed," mum informed us as she tied her Woman’s Guild headscarf and headed for her car.

"And hurry it up. You have less than 30 minutes to be in church. Service starts at 10.30am," she said.

Despite mum’s warning we arrived in the small church at a few minutes past 11.00 am. The sound of the cars driving in distracted everybody and all eyes were fixed on us. The man reading the announcements had to pause before he could restore order. There was no way we were going to make a quiet entrance — I had hoped we would.

The condition was made worse by the apparent lack of enough seats and we had to stand for about five minutes as the ushers tried convincing the congregation to move to create space.

Finally seated, Patty turned to me and grumbled: "I still do not understand why we are here. It feels strange being in a church. I hope I didn’t bring all the demons of Nairobi into these poor people’s church."

"Shhh!" I said softly pressing his hand. He was profusely sweating, and he looked extremely uncomfortable in his seat. "Let’s do this for mum. She needs to flaunt her cute little family, you know. It’s her day to give thanks," I told him.

Patty cornered

Thankfully the moment came sooner than later. Families that had arranged the thanks giving alongside mum were called and like a matron, she shepherded us to the front of the church. I could hear Stacey groan from behind me.

Jamoh had an odd blank look on his face, almost as if he was having an out of body experience. Andrew and his wife looked quite in sync with the whole environment. Mum all the while was prodding us to move, smiling all this time.

"Can I hold Kamami?" Patty requested and picked up our daughter from my hands without waiting for my response.

"She will get the attention off me," he explained.

I couldn’t help grinning. It was nice to see Patty squirm for a change.