Is skinny really sexy?

What is it that makes men complain when women put on a few kilos? Is it that we become unattractive or boring in bed? What is wrong with a woman being fat, bearing in mind it is only natural for us to gain a few pounds, especially after the birth of a second child? I do not understand — on the streets, men stare at us, but in reality, it is the same old talk they prefer the slim and skinny women. Please advice, I am worried my husband is getting bored with me.

(Wangui)

Your take:

You should maintain the beauty that made your man pick you from the flock. Women forget what their men once liked. Even after marriage, strive to maintain your size — never let your self deteriorate into the fat, ugly wife.

{Fred Auko}

It is clear that you too are uncomfortable with the weight you have gained. When your man fell in love with you, your body played a big part; so you should maintain it. However, if he loves you, then he should understand that some of these changes are natural. Still, try and maintain your initial size. Discuss it with him openly and in a positive way — he will open his heart to you.

{Dan M}

When women become fat they become dormant, inflexible and boring. I advice that you exercise regularly or go to the gym.

{Dunant Mokua}

Slim women are more attractive and beautiful than the plus size ones. Slim women are more flexible unlike their counterparts who usually drag themselves in everything they do. It takes longer to perform the simplest of tasks so you need to reduce some fat from your body and do some exercise and your husband will stop complaining you are too bulky. {Daniel Amoro}

As you discuss fat women, do not forget fat men! Men, too, get fat and unsightly. I cannot sleep with a 100kg man. Why should it be only women caring about their looks, what they eat and dress in, yet men just live sweet lives in their own comfort zones? There is more to a human being than their body or weight. Looks really should not matter. It is the person inside that does. All sizes have their ups and downs.

{Venerandah Mulinge}

We (men) complain bitterly when women gain weight because they become less attractive and boring. Men are visual creatures and we marry women we feel attracted to. If they (women) went to the gym and ate what they ate before marriage, then we wouldn’t complain or find them boring. Once a woman gets married she feels there is no point of trying as hard as she did before.

Maybe you (Wangu) are not as exciting as you used to be or no longer do the things you used to do before marriage.

Saying it is natural for women to gain weight after conception is an excuse women shouldn’t be using in this century. There are plenty of women out there who have many children but still look as good as they did before they got married.

So stop using these excuses and do what you have to do to stay fit if you want to keep your man completely glued to you.

{Rugunya}

My take:

Is it natural? Yes, the environment after marriage only helps to bring in some extra weight. It is not about eating; it has to do with the sense of security and the children who come. After conception many women struggle to keep their weight down since the only natural way is up. Some lose the battle half way and allow nature to take its course — fighting nature can get extremely difficult.

Are plus-size women really that bad? Well, not really. The addictions of men to slim women really have to do with western influence on our attitudes. The beautiful African woman was the one with some flesh — you know what I am talking about! Our beliefs, tastes and preferences have been changed, but they say you cannot take the bush out of the man. If you look at men on the streets, you will find them ogling the plus size women. Even in the red light districts, the plus size woman gets more clients!

A woman is a woman regardless of her size or weight. But the more endowed face some challenges, especially when it comes to the gymnastics of sex. Unlike the Tyra-Banks-size women who are as flexible as a cat, the bigger women can get a bit rigid. You cannot try some new tricks easily, cannot get it going anywhere — on the sink, bathroom or on the back seat. These limitations, however, do not make them bad. Rather, with efforts from both ends and some creativity, sex can still be as pleasurable. It is the lack of patience and creativity from men that makes them believe endowed women are far from good but good from far.

What to do

Not just for your man and bedroom dynamics, cutting down on weight is good for your health. It is a process that takes time, effort and sometimes resources, but is worth it in the end. Managing your weight does not have to be costly and technical. It primarily involves watching what you eat by avoiding fatty and sweet foods. Jogging or walking 30 – 45 minutes everyday does wonders in a few months. You will be surprised when you look into the mirror if you keep the discipline.

{Taurus}