Joyce and Bill Lay renew their love after years apart

American playwright and novelist James Baldwin once said: “Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.”

Former Taita-Taveta Woman Representative Joyce Wanjala, and her husband William Lay, have sailed the turbulent waters that love sometimes brings, gotten a divorce when the tides rose, and finally fallen back in love again.

In December last year, they started on a clean slate. They put the four years they were apart behind them and decided to give love another chance.

When Mr Lay, fondly known as Bill filed for divorce citing irreconcilable differences, the two never imagined they would get back together. Even though they agreed to co-parent their two children, they closed the chapter on their marriage and decided to move on.

Unexpected parting

The lavish wedding they had in 2007 became a distant memory as they featured in blogs talking about their unexpected parting.

“At that time, we could not agree on most things. There was so much going on. We were on different paths. Her being in public life, the in vitro fertilisation (IVF) we had to go through to have our baby and so many things were happening that I felt we needed a break,” says Bill. Joyce says divorce felt like the best option away from the toxicity when their love was going sour.

“We thought that going separate ways was going to bring us happiness,” she says, adding that they agreed to maintain a friendship for the sake of their children.

The embers of the dying flames of their once publicised marriage were rekindled in December last year, when Billreached out and asked Joyce to accompany him for a Christmas holiday he was taking with their children.

She did not respond, and for a moment, he panicked, thinking he had offended her.

“I had to pray about it and my heart found peace. I also spoke to my few confidants and prayer partners who encouraged me to go with an open mind. We had not slept under the same roof for four years, so it was not something that I would just jump into,” says Joyce. She decided to join her ex-husband just for the fun of being around the children. Destiny had other plans for them. Before they knew it, they were reminiscing on the love they once shared.

“What if we give it another shot? What if we try again?” They kept asking each other, amidst the doubts that lingered from friends who thought they should shelve any thought of a reunion.

On Valentine’s Day, Joyce posted on Facebook that they had decided to take a leap of faith. She posted a photo of her holding Bill, with the caption: “Be encouraged! God shall restore all the years that were destroyed by the enemy. He is a restorer of all. His plans are not our plans and no one can change that! I have a big testimony that He is God! He has wiped away my tears and taken all my shame away. My joy has come.”

The post revealed that they had gotten back together afterdivorcing for four years. Her update attracted several comments from her followers, who said their decision to get back together had reawakened their belief in the undying power of love.

Bill admits that the first few days together were awkward. They spent days fixing the cracks that had brought down their marriage and working on becoming better. He cracks up and says breaking up with Joyce was not his first divorce. “I have to say, I am not so good at this marriage thing. But with Joyce, it felt worth trying again.” The stars, he says, were aligned right and for the first time in his life, he felt like things were falling back into place.

They moved back in together and say one thing they both brought into their remarriage is the lesson about love and marriage. “We realised we loved each other so much and will not allow anything to come between us. I am glad the divorce happened because it taught us how to appreciate each other and to be humble,” says Joyce. Bill says he learnt the value of spending more time with his wife and family.

He says that days preceding their separation, there was so much tension between them that he would travel just to be away from it all. Things are different now, and he hopes it will remain so forever.

“I cannot remember how long it has been since I had this feeling. We spend more time together and make deliberate effort to share meals. The kids are happy that we worked things out,” says Bill.

Joyce says she appreciates that even when they were divorced, Bill was instrumental in her campaigns when she vied for the Taita-Taveta senatorial seat. Bill says contrary to popular belief, Joyce being in politics has never worried him, nor has he ever attempted to prevail upon her to stop chasing her dreams.