The risks of living large in an unequal world

There’s something about women that brings out the worst in people. The temptation to burn a woman on the stake for things she has done, or is suspected of doing, is often too strong to resist. And it is so easy to talk about women because most people – including other women – are willing to sit there and listen. So, the assassination of the female character has become a spectator sport.

Sometimes it seems that there is nothing so fulfilling for some as the act of stripping women of their dignity. In fact, just as I was writing this, I read a forwarded WhatsApp message that ended with; ‘in the Bible there is no mention of saitan (sic) until a woman was created’. The writer went on to call the women who have stood with Jacque Maribe ‘practicing demons’.

I mean, you have to laugh. There was such poetry in his take-down. I did note, however, that throughout the rant there was no mention of Joseph ‘Jowi’ Irungu, one of the other prime suspects in the Monica Kimani's murder investigation. This, despite the fact that so far, it looks like Ms Maribe is more of an accessory than a mastermind. But hey, this is a rapidly developing story. Who knows what we will be told next?

Cannot presume

I am all for the law to take its course. If a woman is found guilty, then so be it. I really think that we all need to be a little more dispassionate about it and I say this, particularly about women. It is embarrassing to admit, but the general response of the female collective has been emotional. And the last thing this situation needs is to be clouded by feelings and conjecture, rather than fact.

If so proven, a crime is a crime, regardless of who committed it, and no matter what their motivation was. Like someone said in another social media conversation, "Lover or no lover (murder) is a criminal offence".

But then there is the other discussion about morality, and the idea that women are being killed for ‘bad behaviour’. This one is just plain silly. First of all, far as I know, sex is not a crime. And sponsors/blessers/business partners/criminal associates cannot presume to police the behaviour of their women friends, or to punish them for things they have done, or are suspected to have done. That is not their place.

This is not to say that grown-ups do not make dubious decisions. We all mess up, and we do it often. Sometimes we make poor decisions on purpose, and this is why we now find ourselves in the age of the sponsor. The allure of the good life is proving too strong for young men and women to resist. And I can understand why. We are a money-worshiping society, in a country where most of the cash is hoarded by the business and political elite. It would follow then that the ordinary man/woman on the street would pursue money and privilege by any means. That is just a natural response to scarcity.

Describe relationships

And so it is difficult to describe the relationships between sponsors and their benefactors purely in moral terms. It is not just a moral question, if it is at all. It is also about economics and the pressure on young people to live large in a world where most of them will never manage to make it big on their own. Those who succeed in the traditional market place will likely compromise values more than once along the way. It is a man-eat-man reality that we are all dealing with, and the deaths of Sharon Otieno and Monica Kimani should be a cautionary tale.

At the end of the day, we are all making choices. Every choice you have ever made has brought you to where you are now. Your life is basically the sum total of your decisions. One bad decision can take you down a path you never anticipated.

Unfortunately, for so many otherwise reasonable people, these decisions can be clouded by love, or lust, or money, and this is probably how we have ended up with two high-profile murder investigations within weeks of each other.

President Uhuru Kenyatta once sensationally stated thus: "Security starts with you". I criticised him at the time because it sounded like he was passing the buck, but I am beginning to see the wisdom in that statement. Only in this sense though, that you are responsible for the choices you make.

The choices are the biggest influence on the trajectory of your life. That said, personal choices, especially as they relate to sexual activity, are not punishable by death, certainly not at the hands of ordinary citizens.

Ms Masiga is Peace and Security Editor, The Conversation Africa