Why rumours of Comrade Bob's speech mix-up cannot be true

Many people are miffed by the alleged speech mix-up, in which Comrade Bob Mugabe, the life President of the Republic of Zimbabwe, regurgitated a speech he had read last month.

The simple truth, just as the opposition have rushed to confirm, is that this is a cheap ploy to insinuate that Comrade Bob, 91, has failing faculties, and so cannot effectively discharge his duties as President.