Of expensive weddings and happy marriages

I have never forgotten the day I conducted two weddings on the same day. The first one was on the grounds of a children’s home. You could tell it was ‘budget sensitive’; the venue was sparingly decorated, there were no paid entertainers and the food was what is sometimes referred to as RSVP (rice and stew very plenty). And yet despite the simplicity, the atmosphere was light and the joy in the air was almost palpable! The second wedding was on the grounds of one of the city’s poshest hotels. It was obvious that no expense had been spared — from the decorated tents and chairs, to the full piece band, to the catered buffet that must have cost two arms, two legs and a liver. The irony is that there seemed to be little joy at this ceremony; it felt more like a business transaction that we needed to get over and done with. I sensed this vibe not just from the couple but also among the guests in attendance.

 It could not have been clearer to me at the end of that day that money does not buy happiness! But I was also struck by the fact that many couples today spend millions of shillings preparing for their wedding day, but almost nothing preparing for a lifetime of marriage. The various wedding shows on TV only seem to raise the stakes — with couples seemingly competing to outdo each other to showcase the most expensively outrageous wedding ceremony. But the rising divorce rate among younger couples is evidence that an expensive wedding does not translate to a happy marriage.