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Counselling psychologist Ken Munyua from TalentRecruit in Lavington, Nairobi, says that spouses need to know their in-laws better.
“Get to learn them first,” says Munyua, as “the problem with most of us is that when we join a new family, we want to go and change that family, not knowing that the family has been in existence since before we came.”
According to the psychologist, most people suffer the wrath of their in-laws because they do not keep their boundaries, or fail to understand their role, yet most they are outsiders to their in-laws.
“It is better to start by bonding with individual family members,” he said. On his part, sociologist Prof Okumu Bigambo said some situations would be handled well if people are educated and brought up well to relate with people from new families.
“A normal mother is not willing to let the son go, and there are jealousies that come along. It is human nature, right?,” he posed, adding that, “We have got personality differences and disorders. A girl comes into a home and finds a mother-in-law who is different from her, and there may be jealousies with some going to the extremes. The Prof adds: “Mothers feel like the son should have married someone like herself. We should understand that there are no two persons who are the same. The daughters were also given birth to by other women, which should be understood.”
- Irvin Jalang’o
