Recently, there has been a spate of ugly family violence incidents reported in the media. Contrary to the common opinion, domestic violence is not a preserve of the poor and lowly; even the high and mighty often get entangled in its intricate web of coercion, deceit, shame and murder.
But just what turns a doting mother into a killer of her own children? What could really make a man take up a machete and furiously hack his senile mother to death? Sociologists seem to have run out of answers as their theories can no longer satiate the hunger in our questions. And even the counselors, too conservative for comfort, can no longer help. They are just as helpless and baffled at this emerging trait of animism like the rest of us.
Statistically, the World Health Organization argues that 38% of all the women murdered in the world are killed by their intimate partners. This is incomprehensible. But then again, you and I know that this is so true. The evidence is out there for all and sundry to see. Inasmuch as I would wish to ignore this painful reality, my conscience betrays me and I just have to ask this one question: does love truly exist?
There is a pervert in all of us and nobody can convince me otherwise. What makes all the difference is that some people are bold enough to let theirs’ show in public. Behind closed doors of countless palatial city homes resides horrendous tales of men and women drenched in secret tears of domestic violence. The façade is only exposed when the police are called in to collect a body as shocked neighbours converse in hushed tones in small gatherings at how everything had seemed so perfect.
The greatest impediment to arresting this worrying trend is a penchant for perfection. And this cuts across all the divides of the economic class but is especially common with the middle and upper classes. Many people would rather die than let the world know that their admirable spouse hits them and touches the children inappropriately. Almost every couple wants their union to be the envy of the world. It is this silly love for laudatory epithets that eventually gets us maimed or killed in cold blood. Fear and shame have never been known to resurrect anyone. They are totally useless emotions in this context.
The dynamics of domestic violence are so complicated. What can begin as a simple unkind word can metamorphose into unprecedented violence that will make headlines for all the wrong reasons. And this is why it is extremely important to nip the situation in the bud as soon as it rears its ugly head. Seek help immediately you experience what qualifies as domestic abuse. It could be physical, verbal, sexual, emotional or economic in nature. Taking matters for granted has put many in early graves. Entertaining a slap as a slip of the hand is all you need to court death—next time, it might be a machete splitting your head open!
The writer is a blogger and artist who comments on social issues at www.literatureaid.blogspot.com
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