Uhuru’s political problems due to his unforced errors

It’s not uncommon for a great tennis player to beat themselves. We’ve seen the great Serena Williams, arguably the greatest female tennis player of all time, self-destruct. When Ms Williams plays, you know only she can beat herself. She’s done that innumerable times by committing unforced errors. As an ardent fan, I’ve often been forced to turn off the TV when she starts to hurtle down the cliff. I can’t bear to watch her lose—it’s too painful. In a sport that’s highly racialised, Ms Williams usually carries the weight of the entire black race on her broad shoulders. I can’t say the same of Jubilee’s Uhuru Kenyatta. But the son of Jomo—the Burning Spear—knows how to “self-immolate.”

Mr Kenyatta has become a master of unforced errors. His one singular accomplishment was getting himself tenancy in State House. Everything went south after the coronation. It’s as if getting to the mountaintop was all that mattered. The man from Gatundu has forgotten that he’s Kenya’s CEO—its numero uno. He’s not a co-governor, entertainer-in-chief, or lecturer extraordinaire. He isn’t Kenya’s First Scolder, or the country’s Chief Spanker. No—he’s in charge of the state, even though I vowed never to recognise him. That’s why—even I, the naysayer—am concerned that Mr Kenyatta has left Kenya on auto-pilot in severe turbulence. Bad things happen when human pilots leave auto-pilots completely in control. This is an emergency appeal.

That’s because Kenyans can’t do anything until 2017—even if Mr Kenyatta has gone AWOL [absent without leave]. I don’t want to recount a litany of Jubilee’s failures. Those are well known, and scream out everywhere. They’ve been broadcast not just in Kenya—on a daily basis—but are the subject of pundit tragi-comedy in The New York Times, BBC, National Public Radio, Washington Post, and other media of record. Commentators as far flung as Australia snicker with glee. There’s nothing sweeter to the press in the West than a bubbling and buffoonish African regime. Call them racist, but Jubilee has given them plenty of material.

Methinks I know why Mr Kenyatta is acting impotent—ineffective. He went to Parliament with a tome of allegedly corrupt Mafioso in high places. He gave a stern 60-day deadline for swift justice against the suspects. Nothing has happened nine months later. That’s abnormal. In the meantime, those fingered have mobilised ethnic anger and cried victim. In the melee, Mr Kenyatta has been hog-tied and can’t seem to act. The man gives orders—sometimes angrily—but no one bothers to act on them. It seems the culprits, and the officials to whom the orders are directed, believe that Mr Kenyatta is all-talk, and no action. I will stick up for Mr Kenyatta here—he seems powerless against ruthless cartels.

One plausible explanation of Mr Kenyatta’s dithering is his alliance with URP’s William Ruto. I’ve maintained from Day One that TNA’s yoking to URP was a marriage from hell. That’s why Mr Kenyatta can’t sack URP ministers that he suspended. Which means he can’t sack those from his side of the aisle either without provoking opprobrium from his backyard. But let me remind Mr Kenyatta that he can simulate the biblical Lazarus—and come back from the dead. He only needs to be a student of Kibaki. Beset by the Anglo Leasing scandal, Mr Kibaki threw overboard his Mt Kenya inner cabinet—David Mwiraria, Kiraitu Murungi and Chris Murungaru. No trio was more powerful than those under Mr Kibaki. But the man from Othaya guillotined his key lieutenants to save his regime. Mr Kibaki knew that it was either him, or them. He swiftly brought down the sword and restored balance to his listing regime. Except for Mr Murungi, the others never recovered. Mr Kibaki was both Machiavellian and utilitarian. He knew when to play and when to fold them. Politics is akin to poker. Mr Kibaki was a maestro. He would sit in a meeting—quiet—as if dozing. It was all a ruse. He was the smartest guy in the room. That’s political ruthlessness. The man on top needs the tough skin of the crocodile and the agility of Amalinze the cat.

Mr Kenyatta is a young man—relatively. If he’s lucky to succeed himself in 2017, he will still be young when he retires in 2022. But that won’t come to pass if he doesn’t take bold steps to salvage his political career—end unforced errors. He must swing hard—and connect. His opponents are within Jubilee, not CORD. He needs to sever his relationship with Mr Ruto—like yesterday. He must clean his cabinet and start afresh without URP’s MoU. Otherwise, he can kiss 2017 goodbye.