Is his porn addiction ruining your love life?

It has come to your attention that something is terribly amiss with your spouse.

He just hasn’t been himself lately. The happy-go-lucky guy you married is now a closed book. He seems aloof and all his activities are shrouded in secrecy. He suffers random bouts of mood swings. Communication is dwindling. He has become a permanent fixture in front of his laptop and is irritable when disrupted.

It is not uncommon to find out that he stayed up till the wee hours of the morning doing God knows what on his laptop.

Whenever you question his motives, he gets on the offensive. Your sex life is in a rut. Hard as you try, he just doesn’t seem interested anymore.

That sexy red lingerie doesn’t turn him on anymore. He avoids the marital bed like a plague and always has a mouthful of excuses handy when you demand an explanation.

Your gut tells you that he is up to no good, but you can’t quite put a finger on it. Is he having an affair? Highly unlikely. He has never been much of the philandering type, and besides, he barricades himself indoors whenever he is not at work.

A glance at his Google search history gives you a little insight into his ‘extracurricular’ activity. Your worst fears are confirmed when you go through his bookmarked sites. You have stumbled on a startling discovery, your husband has a predilection for pornography! He has been locking himself up to visit porn websites and adult chat rooms.

Further investigation leads you to his secret stash. Volumes of pictures of women in various forms of undress. A confrontation ensues. He breaks down and admits he is addicted to pornography. At least he is not having an affair. Not a physical one anyway.

But that doesn’t make you feel any better. Your husband has been neglecting you for some fake bimbos on the Internet!  You did everything right. You followed those successful marriage self-help books to the letter. Now it feels like your whole marriage was a charade.

While he was making love to you, he was probably thinking about his fantasy women. You can bet your left foot that he most likely had a quick glance at his stash to get in the mood. What constitutes addiction to pornography?

To many, pornography is just an occasional vice, a victimless crime. So, where exactly do we draw the line? The first indication of a pornography addiction is withdrawal: both physically and emotionally. Porn addicts live in a world of fantasy.

They isolate themselves from the world so they can live out their daydream. The deeper they delve into this horrible vice, the more deviant their taste becomes. If you find yourself looking for pornography that would have previously disgusted you, you are well on your way to becoming a porn addict.

Just like all other addictions, the first step is for the affected person to accept that they have a problem and seek help immediately.

His porn addiction stems from his own psychological issues that have nothing to do with you. The best you can do is support him in his quest for rehabilitation. What would you do if you found out your partner is addicted to porn?

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